


Mass Effect: Liberation

by ladyamesindy



Series: Commander Micah Shepard [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-18
Updated: 2013-05-20
Packaged: 2017-12-08 21:26:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/766188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyamesindy/pseuds/ladyamesindy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eighteen and her life ahead of her, Micah Shepard heads off to basic training thinking her dreams have finally been fulfilled.  Along the way she will be reminded that not everything is so straightforward and that dreams can expand and evolve to include so much more than first thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Enlightenment

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 of Commander Micah Shepard's story, her background before the Mass Effect series begins. 
> 
> Chapter and story titles in this work are heavily inspired by lyrics to Asia's song "Never Again."

_2172_

  


Micah wasn’t certain what she’d been expecting upon arrival at basic.  The shuttle she’d taken had been filled with an assorted mix of recruits, men and women from around Earth who had made the decision to serve the Alliance.  Or at least, try.  She wasn’t certain what the wash-out percentage was these days, but Micah had spent the past twelve years or so making certain she wouldn’t be one of them.  Besides, having grown up a military brat, she’d figured she’d be prepared for just about anything they’d toss in her direction.  

That was her first mistake, and one she vowed never to repeat.  

From the moment they were woken up each morning until they dropped into their bunks at night, heads hitting the pillows as eyes closed in slumber, they were kept busy in training.  Micah couldn’t say she was surprised really.  After all, that was the reason she was here.  To become one of the best.  A defender, protector, like her father had been.  It was who she was meant to be.

But damn, it would have been nice to at least have a moment, say once a week, to just _breathe_ for herself without having to have someone over her shoulder shouting reminders at her to do so.   _Just one moment is all I need ...._

 

~ ~ ~

 

The first time she she had that opportunity was about four weeks into her training.  Her daily schedule was established, her class pretty much set as those who hadn’t been up to par had been weeded out.  She’d even been told that she was being considered for officer school, an announcement that had startled her to a point, but she’d simply nodded, saluted and carried on.  But that night, after climbing into her bunk, she’d managed a quick message out on her omni-tool before falling to sleep.

_To: Kaidan Alenko_

_From: Shepard, Micah_

_RE: Hi_

_Hey, Kaidan.  Just wanted to let you know ... so far, so good.  Still a ways to go, but each day is getting easier.  Oh, they seem impressed, too.  Told me today they want to send me to officer candidate school after basic, so I guess sometime later this year I might finally graduate and actually get out there for a visit?  Went on about my ‘leadership skills’ and such.  Not sure where that came from, but oh well.  I won’t argue, I guess.  Hope all is well at your end.   M_

 

~ ~ ~

 

_To: Micah Shepard_

_From: Kaidan Alenko_

_RE: RE: Hi_

_Congratulations!  I will admit, I’m not overly surprised by their decision to place you in an officer track.  Plus, you’ve got family history on your side too.  I have all the confidence in the world that you’ll do well.  Hell, you might even teach them a thing or two!_

_All is well here, though working at the orchard after so much time in London seems a bit of a let down, I suppose.  Still, it is what it is.  And there is a kind of ... peace to be found working with the land, I guess._

_I’d half thought of telling you to ‘stay safe’ or ‘keep focused’ or the like, but I suppose you hear that too much at the moment from your drill sergeant, so I’ll refrain.  Instead, I’ll just tell you that I look forward to hearing from you again sometime in the not too distant future.  K_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: Kaidan Alenko_

_From, Shepard, Micah_

_RE: Aches and Pains_

_Kaidan ... tell me a story.  Anything, please?  I need the distraction.  So damned sore and aching right now.  Oh, it’s not what you think, either.  No, this was something else altogether.  We were out on an overnight trek, no problem, right?  Simulated battle conditions, wanting to see us react under pressure, that kind of thing.  Well, one of my squaddies apparently had some deep seated issues ... something none of us was aware of ahead of time.  When the ‘attack’ came, he just ... freaked.  Of the four of us, one ended up with a broken hip, another with a separated shoulder.  Me, I’m just banged and bruised a bit, no major issues there, but ... damn!  Ended up using a stasis field on him just to keep him restrained until help could get there.  I just ...._

_Okay, not being maudlin here really, but I’m going to tell you this anyway, just so you know.  Just in case ... well ...  Alright, I know I haven’t talked about things much, my background before I met you, I mean.  But, you came into my life at a time I really needed someone - to talk to, to lean on, just to be a friend.  I-I want you to know how much that meant to me then, and still means to me now.  Thank you, Kaidan.  With all I am, thank you._

_Right then ... moment of weakness over.  Can I have that story now?  Seriously, I need the distraction or I might just start tossing singularities around and swooping up nurses and medical staff in them just for the fun of it.  I know you can imagine the kind of havoc I could cause ....  M_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: Micah Shepard_

_From: Kaidan Alenko_

_RE: RE: Aches and Pains_

_So ... a story ... hmm ... I could tell you about the time that ... no, wait.  Okay, not that time._

_Hmm.  What about ....   Nope, not that one either.  Sorry._

_Okay, you’ve forced my hand.  I guess I’ll have to tell you about the time I met this tiny slip of a girl who had the entire medical staff of the hospital standing back at least ten feet, all alarmed for some reason.  She had the most expressive eyes I’d ever seen, but they had such a sadness in them, a sense of loss and despair.  Our paths only crossed for a moment before she looked away, but in that one moment, I knew enough.  We shared something in common, you see.  As I turned and walked away, I heard a voice cry out behind me - “Don’t touch me!” she said.  But it wasn’t what she said as much as it was how she said it that spoke to me.  I returned, thinking she might need help, but instead I found her holding off the entire medical staff all by herself.  They say ignorance is bliss, and in this case I suppose they were right, because I stepped forward to help when no one else would, without any clue as to what had happened other than to see a frightened young woman holding down a man nearly twice her size with hardly any effort at all.  After a few minutes, she realized I was not there to harm, that I only wanted to help ... and she’s now my best friend._

_Micah, I have to tell you that you did just as much for me, coming into my life that day, as you say I’ve done for you.  You have helped me put a few things from my past into perspective, I guess.  Certainly, you’ve given me a lot to think about.  But I wouldn’t trade any of that for anything.  Just so you know._

_Now just one question ... if you’re just ‘banged up,’ why are you in hospital threatening the medical staff again?  What are you not telling me?   K_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: Kaidan Alenko_

_From: Shepard, Micah_

_RE: I’m peeved_

_Okay, why is it they won’t let me use a shotgun here?  Or a rifle?  Those are by far the weapons I’m best with!  GAH!  I’ve been using a shotgun since dad taught me when I was ten!  TEN!  And a rifle almost as long!  But no, they give me this tiny little pistol and just expect ... I  ... grrrrrrrrrrrrr ....._

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: Micah Shepard_

_From: Kaidan Alenko_

_RE: RE: I’m peeved_

_I get the feeling you aren’t very impressed?  (Right.  I’ll make sure to have my barriers in place when next we meet just to avoid injury in response to that.)_

_Anyway, where’s the harm in getting better with another weapon?  Besides, someone as lightweight as you would only be weighed down by such a clunker.  Try the pistol.  I bet anything you grow to like it ....   K_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: Kaidan Alenko_

_From: Shepard, Micah_

_RE: You’re so dead ..._

_Dammit, Kaidan!_

_Fine, I’ll admit it ... the pistol isn’t so bad (quit being so damned smug about it!).  I’ve kinda grown to like it, actually.  But now they want me to focus on an SMG.  If I hear one more recitation about how I need to use lighter weight weapons to keep from hindering my biotics, I’m going to throw someone through the center of the target, I swear ....   M_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: ~~Micah Shepard~~ My Little Firecracker_

_From: Kaidan Alenko_

_RE: RE: You’re so dead ..._

_You are such a firecracker, you know that?  But seriously, they are right.  The less encumbered you are, the better it will be for you in the long run.  I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that it’s a lot less strain on your biotics when you carry less weight.  And if not, it’s about time you did learn it.  If you’re so adamant about using your rifle skills, come to the orchard on leave and we’ll go hunting._

_Oh, and dying at your hands?  What a way to go ....   K_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: Kaidan Alenko_

_From: Shepard, Micah_

_RE: Sorry_

_Sorry it’s been so much longer in between messages this time.  We had field maneuvers again.  Longer trip, just got back.  This time, things went much better, thank god._

_Graduation will be day after tomorrow and, as of a few minutes ago, I got the official notification they ARE sending me on to officer candidate school immediately following graduation.  I mentioned it in passing to Uncle David and he seemed pleased enough.  He assured me mom would be too.  I hope so._

_Unfortunately, I think any chance you and I might have had (as small as it might have been) to see each other after basic has been lost because of it.  It’ll likely be New Years before I have any sort of leave, even if it’s only for a few hours.  I don’t suppose you’d want to get away then at all?  I’m sure by then I’ll be nearly crazy to see a familiar face ....   M_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: My Little Firecracker_

_From: Kaidan Alenko_

_RE: RE: Sorry_

_No apologies necessary.  Congratulations on graduating, by the way.  You’ll probably get this message about a week afterwards, but just know I will be thinking of you.  Wish I could see you in your uniform.  Looking all smart and proper.  A real marine.  Just like you wanted.  I’m sure you’ll hear a lot of this, but I’m proud of you, Micah.  You did it.  And then some!_

_As for New Years, as much as I would love to meet up with you - a few hours or more, whatever leave you could grab - I’m afraid it just won’t be possible.  But not for the reasons you might expect._

_Bear with me here as I try to explain this, okay?_

_There’s something you need to know about my background.  When I met you, I was coming off a very bad experience at BAaT.  I won’t go into details here, but at some point, I will tell you about it if you want.  Anyway, for a long time, I felt like I was ... lost.  Confused.  I didn’t know what to do, where to turn, how my life would end.  I was, to put it mildly, messed up.  For several years I tried to sort things out, decide what I wanted out of life, figure out where I needed to be._

_And then I met you.  Your focus, your drive, your dedication ... all of that must have spoken to me on some level.  Watching you go through all of this, seeing you continue on in the same manner, you have become an inspiration for me.  I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve decided to enlist myself.  Right now, I’m helping mom and dad with the orchard through the end of the harvest - don’t want to leave them short handed.  But I got in touch with Anderson (at dad’s suggestion, of all things) and he’s helping me prepare.  I’ve been in touch with the people I need to.  I’ve taken some of the initial tests, my biotic skills are well known to them.  Apparently, they’re also taken with my tech skills.  Anyway, as of New Years I’ll be off to basic myself._

_So.  I guess we’ll have to see how things fall into place after that?  I’m sorry if this disappoints you, but I now know this is where I need to be.  I hope you can understand and accept that.   K_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: Kaidan Alenko_

_From: Shepard, Micah_

_RE: RE: RE: Sorry_

_I’m only going to tell you this once, Kaidan, so make sure you’re listening.  How can I be disappointed when my best friend tells me that he’s finally found his calling?  The one person who helped me find and reach my own?_

_Of course I can understand and accept your decision.  And, I’m glad you got in touch with Uncle David, by the way.  He’ll help you get through any red tape faster than a hot knife through butter._

_As for us, well, we’ll just have to find another time to meet up.  I will admit, I do miss you.  Seeing you sooner would be a hell of a morale boost, that’s for sure!  But then again, now that I’m at officer’s school, at least I’m not being run quite so ragged all the damned time like at basic, so I guess things are improving.  And actually (don’t laugh), I’m kind of liking it here.  It isn’t ... easy, by any means, but things are going well.  I don’t know how to explain it .. I just ... get it?  Does that make sense?  Anyway, I’m very happy for you, you know.  Please believe me._

_Oh, and don’t think I didn’t notice your little ‘name change’ there, Alenko.  Be forewarned ... I WILL even the odds ....  M_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: My Little Firecracker_

_From: Kaidan Alenko_

_RE: Yes, ma’am!_

_*salutes smartly* Should I be quaking in my boots here or something?  Just let me know ... I’d hate to give you the wrong impression ...._

_With Christmas just around the corner and OCS about to wrap up, I’m sure they’ve got you on your toes, so I’ll keep this brief.  Merry Christmas, Micah.  I’ll be thinking of you while we celebrate around here.  (Just know that I’d much rather be spending it with you!)  K_

 

~ ~ ~

 

Micah swallowed tightly as she exited the shuttle.  The first thing she noticed was the cold, despite her heavy jacket, the bite of the wind managed to sneak right up her back leaving her shivering.  She was taking a chance doing this, putting him on the spot in front of his family.  But when she’d realized that OCS was ending just two days before Christmas, it was all she could do to pull herself together and, with his mother’s assistance, put this plan into motion.  After a quick message to Laura Alenko to verify that Kaidan would indeed be home still and that she would be more than welcome to join them for the holiday, Micah had then made arrangements for the week’s worth of leave she had between OCS and her first posting to be spent at the Alenko orchard.  She’d even gone so far as to clear it with Hannah Shepard who, deployed out far across the galaxy, had agreed that they would barely have time to meet up and see each other for more than just a few hours before Micah would have had to turn around and go back, had agreed with her plan.  

“Lieutenant Shepard?”

Micah turned, hand rising to shield her eyes from the bright sunshine bouncing off the surrounding snow covered ground.  She nearly gasped aloud when she realized she must be looking at Kaidan’s father.  Father and son were the spitting image of the other!  Nodding, Micah extended her hand.  “Sir.”

He chuckled as he shook her hand.  “Alex, please.  As of four months ago, I’m retired.”

Micah smiled.  “Good to meet you, Alex.”  

The drive out to the orchard took all of about twenty minutes.  When they arrived, Alex grabbed her bag for her and nodded towards the shed behind the house.  “I’ll take your bag for you.  He’s back there if you want to surprise him.”

Micah eyed the elder Alenko for a moment before flashing him a quick smile.  “Thank you, Alex.”  She shrugged deeper into her heavy coat as she crossed the yard, the wind tousling her hair about her face.  She could also feel the sting of the cold against her cheeks, but she ignored it.  Reaching the door, she opened it and stepped inside out of the cold.

It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the darker interior, so during that adjustment period she focused on listening.  Off to her left, she heard a shuffling sound, the heavy clank of what sounded like metal or something heavy being moved.  Stepping quietly over to the entrance, she peeked inside ....  Spotting him across the room, Micah swallowed tightly past the sudden lump forming in her throat.  What was it she’d told him before?  Seeing him would be a boost for her morale?   _Damn, THAT had been an understatement!_  Clearing her throat, she leaned casually against the door frame, arms folded across her chest, and commented dryly, “That’s funny, I don’t see any quaking in those boots, recruit.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

If pressed, Kaidan probably would have admitted, but only to his mother, that he was simply going through the motions at this point.  He had a week until he was leaving for basic.  The orchard was well in hand, extra hands hired to take over the duties he’d been performing up to that point.  So really, he just had the time on his hands.  

Which was why he’d started the process of reorganizing the storage shed.  Never mind he’d done it just weeks before.  He had time to kill, no one but family to spend it with (which wasn’t a bad thing, per se, just not what he wanted), he just needed a distraction ....

Which, of course, was why he’d least expected one and therefore jumped like a kid with his hand caught in his grandmother’s cookie jar when he heard her voice behind him.  Spinning around, he caught sight of her immediately.  Their eyes met and locked and he managed, somehow, to take a step towards her without tripping over his own feet, or the equipment that was laying about due to his earlier efforts.  “Shall I salute you instead, _Lieutenant_?” he inquired, arm lifting in place, a small smirk forming at his lips.  

He watched her straighten and enter the room, surveying him in a casual manner.  He held the pose, like any soldier would to a superior officer, waiting for her to return the gesture as was protocol.  But she surprised him, moving to his side and reaching out to turn his hand just a touch, altering the angle just the slightest bit.  “There,” she murmured, though he noted she did not look into his eyes for a moment, “that’s better.”

“Is it now?”

Taking a step back, she executed a quick salute in return before lowering her arm, her usual cheeky grin taking over.  “Indeed,” she replied.

Eyes holding, he took a step closer.  Reaching out, he brushed some of the dark auburn waves back from her face, noting how the wind had reddened her cheeks.  “I think I must be hallucinating,” he heard himself mutter quietly, his hand dropping from her hair to run lightly along her jaw.  

“Hmm,” she murmured though he thought it sounded more like the purring of a cat, “No more so than I am, I suppose.”  Her hand lifted then, covering his, and he watched her smile widen.  “Kaidan ....”

He sighed, the sound of her speaking his name one of the more settling things he’d heard in a long while.  Leaning towards her, he kissed the tip of her nose, not failing to miss the sound of her gasp at the touch.  “What are you doing here?” he asked, eyes searching hers again.  “I thought you were still at OCS?”

Her hands moved to grasp the front of his jacket as her smile widened.  “I, um, graduated yesterday,” she explained.  “When I talked to your mom, she said you weren’t leaving for basic until -”

He frowned.  “You talked to my mother?  When?”

“When you weren’t in the same room, obviously,” she replied matter of factly.

“Riiiiight.”  He sighed softly.  “So ... you and mom cooked up this idea?”

“Oh no,” Micah immediately insisted.  “Your mother came up with this on her own.  However, I ... _might_ have mentioned I had a week’s leave before I have to report to my duty station.  And then she _might_ have suggest I spend it here ....”

That had him chuckling.  “I see.”  Both hands now resting on her shoulders, he advised with a knowing look, “Give mom and inch and she’ll take a mile.”

Micah made a noise that was a cross between a squeak and a cough, and it nearly set him laughing, but he managed to hold his composure.  “So I gather,” she returned.

Silence fell around them for a few long minutes then, but neither seemed to notice or care as they just stood there, middle of the room, staring at one another.  When finally they spoke again, it quickly devolved into nervous laughter as they realized they’d spoken the other’s name at the same time.  “You first,” they then tripped over one another again, until at last Kaidan just smiled and gave her a pointed look while raising an eyebrow as an indication she was to go first.  The blush on her cheeks then nearly had him kissing her properly, the way he was feeling an increasing need to do, but he managed to refrain for the moment.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Memories of their goodbye in London still in the back of her mind and Kaidan’s insistence that she speak first had her acting bolder than she might otherwise have done.  Hands still holding onto the edges of his heavy denim jacket, Micah lifted herself on her toes and tilted her head back slightly until their eyes met.  Her smile widened as he moved closer, stopping just a hair’s breadth away from her.  “Merry Christmas, Kaidan,” she murmured before pulling herself up the rest of the way, her lips meeting his.  She chuckled at the soft growl she heard escape his lips in reaction to her move.   _Merry Christmas, indeed._

 

 

 


	2. Illumination

_2173_

 

When he stopped to compare his current situation to his training at BAaT, Kaidan supposed that basic was about equal in demand, though certainly the results were a bit more positive.  Though he’d had some concerns about how he might react to returning to such a controlled environment, he was pleased to see things leaning towards a much more favorable outcome.  Getting used to a daily regimen wasn’t so difficult, at least physically - he’d kept himself in pretty decent shape in the intervening years - and being one of the older recruits certainly gave him an advantage if not in maturity, then in his particular outlook on things.  Even having a drill sergeant yelling in his ear wasn’t nearly as bad as Vyrnnus had been, and that had been one of the fears he’d had coming into basic.

He took to the training easily, though, and excelled almost from the start.  Son of a career marine, he was used to the way the Alliance worked.   _Yes, Drill Sergeant ; no, Drill Sergeant; right away, Drill Sergeant_.  Plus, he and Micah had discussed what her experience had been like in more detail over her visit, so he felt like he had that as a bit of an advantage going through.  So, it came as no surprise to him when, like Micah, he was approached for OCS immediately following basic.  

Throughout it all, though, he continued to exchange messages with her as time and circumstances permitted.  

_To: Lt. Firecracker_

_From: Alenko, K._

_RE: Update_

_Just to let you know, several weeks in and things are progressing as well and somewhat better than I’d expected, to be honest.  In addition to the usual, they’ve also decided to pull me in for combat lifesaving training.  Useful skills, I suppose, and so far the only ‘unexpected’ happenings around here.  I’ve already been informed they want to track me towards OCS like we thought they might.  Our first field mission is at the end of this week, so I may be out of contact for a short time.  K_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: Kaidan-bear_

_From: Lt. M. Shepard_

_RE: RE: Update_

_Just a heads up, in case you haven’t noticed, two can play your little game._

_Oh, that first aid training should come in handy.  I know they try to balance things out so that there are several with experience assigned to a company, but in my opinion, the more the better.  On the other hand, I suppose they only want to focus on those who truly understand what they’re doing.  Would be silly to train someone who doesn’t get it only to have them end up killing half the squad instead, right?  I’ve no doubt you’ll do well with it, though._

_Also, congratulations on OCS!  I know we both figured (hoped?) it would happen, but it’s nice to know that we guessed right.  We’ll celebrate when you graduate!_

_You’ve not said much about it, I know you never do, but how’s it going with the headaches?  I’d imagine if you had Sgt. Winters like I did, you’d be fighting a two-front war on that count.  Not that he was a ‘screamer’ by any stretch of the imagination, but ... well, he was on the loud side of things.  Good luck with the field mission.  Looking forward to hearing from you again when you have the time.  M_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: Lt. Firecracker_

_From: Alenko, K._

_RE: RE: Update_

_A respectful reminder, Lieutenant: When I play, I play for keeps._

_Sgt. Winters isn’t so bad.  We’ve come to a sort of ... understanding, I guess you could call it.  And actually, it was one of the migraines early on that led me to the infirmary which evolved into a discussion with one of the medical staff there and ... well, I’m sure you can figure out who recommended me for the combat lifesaving.  Doctor by the name of Chakwas.  Did you ever met her?  I think she might also be behind some of why Sgt. Winters and I get along better, too.  Or maybe that was simply because he saw me use my biotics in the field.  At any rate, the headaches come and go, they always will, but I manage.  No worries there on my account._

_The field mission was successful.  No issues like you had, thank goodness.  Regular assortment of bumps and bruises, one person (not my squad) twisted an ankle, but nothing too severe.  Overall, we’re doing well; progressing at a steady rate like we should be.  To be honest, I’m more curious to hear about your new posting.  SSV Hastings, wasn’t it?    K_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: Kaidan-bear_

_From: Lt. M. Shepard_

_RE: RE: RE: Update_

_As do I, Alenko.  Consider yourself warned._

_So you DID end up with Sgt. Winters.  Ah, well, it sounds as if you have things well in hand with him at least.  And, yes indeed, I do remember the good doctor.  She was one of the few who successfully evaded my ‘biotic charms,’ you might say, during my stay there.  Gotta admit, as far as docs go, she’s pretty good.  Seems level headed.  She was also the one sent out to deal with our little ‘incident’ while on maneuvers that first time.  Very professional, handled the situation well.  I hope our paths can cross again someday, though not on a doctor-patient level necessarily._

_Ahh, the SSV Hastings.  Did you know Uncle David served aboard her some years ago?  Captain and crew are different now, of course, but she’s a good ship.  Good crew to be with.  Found out the current XO served with mom a number of years back too, though I don’t remember him much.  He found that rather amusing when I admitted it, and not surprising in the least.  Told me I preferred learning all there was to be learned about soldiering with my father than the onboard operations of the ship with my mother.  He’s a nice enough guy, though, and we get along well.  I think he’s taking it as a challenge to try and get me ‘interested’ in the operational side of things.  You’d think he’d know better by now ...._

_So far, things have been I guess what you could say was ‘normal’ around here.  We’re patrolling out here in the Traverse.  No sign of anything unusual yet, though I think everyone knows just how quickly that can change.   M_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: Lt. Firecracker_

_From: Alenko, K._

_RE: Moving Along_

_Slowly but surely making my way through.  Interestingly, I’ve run into an instructor here who knew my father some years ago.  Served together before I was born, I guess.  Since meeting him, though, I’ve noticed more and more people commenting to me on it - officers, that is.  Instructors.  Others passing through.  I suspect it’s something that might dog my footsteps for the rest of training, possibly even into my career, but I’m not going to let it get in my way.  So far, I’ve made it through on my own merit.  Don’t see why I should stop now, right?   K_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: Kaidan-bear_

_From: Lt. M. Shepard_

_RE: RE: Moving Along_

_Oh, gosh.  Yeah, I ran into some of that, too.  With both mom AND dad having served, I ran into several who had been on previous assignments with one or the other of them.  Then again, I still do, as mentioned before about our current XO.  Still, I’ve found that as long as I focus on pulling my weight, upholding my responsibilities, it isn’t really a factor.  Most of the officers I’ve come across so far are pretty good about putting those sorts of preconceptions aside.  And if you should by some chance get one who doesn’t, well, there are ways to get around that._

_Hmm, just got a page to report for an unexpected briefing.  Not sure what’s up, but might be incommunicado for a while. Do me a favor and don’t worry, okay?  I’ll contact you again as soon as I’m able.   M_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: Lt. Firecracker_

_From: Alenko, K._

_RE: Current Situation and Training_

_Had a short message from Anderson this morning who briefly mentioned your current situation, but I thought I’d try sending this anyway.  When you do receive this, just know I’m thinking of you, hoping all is well for you and the crew there.  Then again, being the firecracker that you are, I’ve no doubt that you’ll be alright.  I’ve seen first hand how you fight for what you want.  I have no doubt your strength and determination will get you through.  Just ... well, ... Know I’m thinking about you.  That’s all, I guess._

_Our second field mission is finally out of the way.  Again, it went well.  Looks like we’re down to the final weeks of training and graduation isn’t too far off.  Then OCS.  It’s hard to believe I held off of joining up for so long, especially since now that I’m here it almost feels as if I’ve been here my whole life, you know?  Like ... it was meant to be?  Anyway, I’ll talk to you soon.   K_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: Lt. Firecracker_

_From: Alenko, K._

_RE: State of Communications_

_Shepard ... Micah - I know what’s going on, Anderson’s keeping me in the loop, your mom too from what I understand, but I really wish you’d find some way to let me know you’re okay.  All I know is that your ship came under attack and you’ve been MIA for weeks now.  You’ve got me worried, I’ll admit that.  Just drop me a line ASAP, alright?  Let me know you’re okay?  K_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

_To: Lt. Micah Shepard_

_From, Alenko, K._

_RE: I’m Not Buying It_

_Dammit, Micah, get in touch with me already!  I know you’re out there, somewhere.  I KNOW IT!  Find your way back, get in touch with someone ... somehow, dammit!  Just ... I know you’re out there, still, fighting.  Don’t ask me how, I just do.  It’s time for you to come home ... to come back to me ....   K_

 

_~ ~ ~_

 

Kaidan felt a nudge at his elbow as he exited the classroom.  Glancing down, he found Davis beside him.  She was nice enough, he supposed.  Both had been in the same class at basic.  A biotic too, she was a vanguard, more focused on the soldier side of things whereas he leaned more towards the tech.  “Some of us are heading off to grab some chow.  Want to join us?”

Kaidan considered it, his stomach giving his approval of the idea until he noticed a familiar figure striding down the hall towards him.  There was no missing the purpose in his steps.  “I’ll catch up with you later,” he told Davis before turning to face the officer walking right up to him.  Saluting, Kaidan greeted him, “Sir.”

Anderson saluted back.  “Come with me, son,” he murmured quietly, heading off to their left.

Kaidan nodded and followed.  “Is there news, sir?” he asked as he moved beside the man.

Anderson nodded and led the way towards the elevators.  “She’s alive.  They brought her and the rest of the surviving crew to Arcturus Memorial,” he explained.  “Arrived three hours ago.”

Kaidan frowned.  “Three hours - why wasn’t I informed sooner?” he asked, clearly agitated.

Anderson tossed him a quick look as he stepped onto the lift.  “And how do you think she would have reacted to that if she found out I pulled you from your studies?” he challenged.  

Kaidan glowered, but held his tongue.  Anderson was right, after all.  And he was his superior officer now.  Changing topics, his tone almost demanding, he asked, “What the hell happened?  Where has she been?  It’s been ... what ... weeks?”

Anderson sighed and nodded as the elevator took off.  Kaidan watched as he scrubbed his face roughly with one of his hands.  “Too damned long,” he admitted.  “And, sad to say, they were found in an area that had already been searched.”

Kaidan’s eyes widened.  “What?”  

“It happens more often than you’d think,” Anderson sighed.  “Anyway, I can’t tell you much, and she’s probably been informed she can’t either, so don’t be surprised if she won’t talk about it in detail.”

Kaidan hissed softly and dropped his gaze.  He knew it wasn’t Anderson’s fault.  Knew it was red tape, security, nature of maneuvers in the Traverse, ... all of the above.  But dammit ... “What _can_ you tell me?”

The elevator arrived at the hospital level and both men stepped off together.  Walking side by side, Anderson told him quietly, “The _Hastings_ went down.  Can’t say where or when exactly, or even why.  When it crashed, they lost communications.   _ALL_ communications.  In the end, they were found because someone was able to rewire the systems to send out a mayday.”  They neared a set of doors that were guarded by several marines on either side, but Anderson just passed by them unchallenged.  Kaidan presumed he was allowed through because he was accompanying him.  “An Alliance ship heard the call, but was some distance away.  Took them five hours to reach them.  When they _did_ arrive, they found the crew holed up on the ship, in a defensive posture, making a last stand effort against ... well, they were defending themselves, I’ll leave it at that.  I’m sure you can make an educated guess who was involved if you’ve been in contact with her all along.”

Kaidan nodded.  He knew enough to piece it together.  It wasn’t a new story, unfortunately.  “How many survived?” he asked.  

“Most of the crew survived the initial crash,” Anderson explained.  “Several of the more severely injured were lost in the weeks following, but still the overall number was low.  They knew they were taking a chance sending out the distress call, knew that it would likely bring the enemy down upon them, but they did it anyway.  They lost another third of the remaining crew in that final battle.”  

Kaidan came to a halt beside a door as Anderson did the same.  The elder man turned towards him and gave him a sharp look.  “She’s going to be fine, just remember that when you go in.  She looks worse than she is at the moment.  She needs time to heal is all.”

Kaidan took a deep breath and nodded.  He understood the warning.  “Has her mother been notified?” he asked.

Anderson nodded.  “Hannah Shepard will be arriving tomorrow.  Now go on.  I know she wants to see you.”

Taking another deep breath, Kaidan steeled himself and entered the room.  He was a bit surprised when the door closed behind him, Anderson remaining outside, but he didn’t let that keep him from moving further inside.  Her bed was against the far wall, beside a window giving her a view of the surrounding system beyond the space station.  As he stepped closer, he began to note some of the changes since he’d last seen her.  Though her face was turned away, he could see a bandage along the area where her neck and jaw met.  He noted a bandage wrapped around her right wrist and hand too, though it didn’t appear to be too heavy.  She was looking away from him at the moment, though, and he wasn’t certain if she was asleep or awake ....

 

~ ~ ~

 

Micah sighed softly and shifted beneath the covers.  It was strange being in civilization again, she thought.  A decent bed, sheets and blankets to keep warm, edible food that wasn’t protein bars, no one trying to kill you ....

The sound of hesitant footsteps caught her attention and she turned towards it.  Gasping, she met his gaze and immediately felt tears fill her eyes.  “Kaidan ....”  She lifted her bandaged hand, reaching towards him as her voice cracked, and was grateful when he closed the distance between them and took it in his.  Sighing at his touch, absorbing what warmth she could, she squeezed his hand weakly.  “Hey.”

“Hey, stranger,” he returned, his voice gently surrounding her.  Micah kept her eyes on his, saw the concern written there and knew she must look a complete wreck.  Anderson had brushed her concerns to that effect aside earlier, but now ....  Her eyes widened as Kaidan leaned his hip against the bed, leaning down towards her and kissed her forehead.  “It’s been a while,” he added.

What began as a laugh turned into a sob within a second, and Micah rolled towards him, her legs drawing up as she curled into a ball, her other hand coming around so that both were surrounding his, holding on tightly.  She struggled to draw in a breath, felt herself nearly hyperventilating as she had flashes of every single one of the past forty days flash before her eyes.  “Kai -”

“Don’t,” he told her softly.  “You don’t need to say anything.”  Micah’s bed was tilted at a somewhat reclined angle, but it was still difficult for her to lean towards him.  After two attempts at this, he reached out, pressing her shoulder back and whispered, “Move over.”  

Smiling softly, she did as he bade and soon felt him sliding onto the bed beside her, his arms folding around her.  Leaning into his shoulder, she wrapped an arm around his waist.  With him there, she felt ... safe.  Whole.  Complete.  She didn’t have to worry about attacks from the pirates who had ambushed their ship or crew members who had given into a world of delusions finding them a safer existence than reality.  Relief washed through her, purging her system along with the tears.  Her gasps for air sounded almost strangled at times, but she didn’t care.  She was safe, he was here and she could now begin to heal.  

Some time later, she managed to push away from him, lifting her good arm to swipe the moisture away from her face.  She didn’t apologize.  In past, he’d simply brushed it away when she had.  No, this time, she tilted her head back so she could look up at him and offered him a small smile, her hand lifting to to trace his jaw lightly.  “Better?” he asked, his own hand rising to grasp hers.  She nodded.  In response, his smile widened slightly and he leaned towards her.  “Good,” he murmured against her lips as he kissed her gently.  Micah sighed into the touch, returning it fervently.  Things were definitely on the mend with him here.

 

~ ~ ~

 

The moment their eyes met, Kaidan put the thought of her physical injuries aside and concentrated on what he saw there.  He wasn’t ignoring her wounds, but rather, he knew where the more severe of her injuries could lay and he wanted to attend to them first.  And in her green depths, he identified the toll that had been taken.  He’d not seen her this ... wary, searching, desperate even since they day they had met in London when he’d talked her down from harming the nurse she’d taken down in self defense.  Her physical injuries were obvious, but they would heal and disappear, most likely not even leaving scars behind.  He knew from experience, as did she, that it was the internal wounds that could harm more.  

His move to lie beside her came out of instinct.  The connection they had established between them was on all levels, but he had come to realize that she responded better to touch than anything else.  A shoulder to lean on.  The simple holding of a hand.  A kiss to her cheek or lips.  The simple act of a hug.  

Carefully pulling her close, his kiss began as a gentle affirmation of life.  He felt her desperation, though, and fought against it for the moment.  As usual, she was all fire, emotion and passion; as he called her, a firecracker just waiting to explode.  He, on the other hand, tended to keep it more under control, sometimes too much control if Micah’s protests were to be believed.  But together, he’d noted on previous occasions, they evened one another out, creating a balance that kept them both steady and on their collective feet.  

He felt her pull back for a moment, breathing heavily as she gasped for air.  Glancing down at her, he noticed that the desperation he’d seen mere moments before had given way to something calmer, something more steady.  “I ... got your messages,” she told him quietly as they lay there, eyes locked.  “I’m so sorry I couldn’t -”

He lifted a finger to her lips to silence her.  Once she complied, he leaned over to nuzzle her nose with his.  “No apologies,” he reminded her.  “Anderson kept me in the loop as much as he could.  I knew when I sent them there was a chance you wouldn’t get them until you were returned ... if at all.”  

She sighed softly and nodded before scooting closer to him and resting her head on his shoulder.  He held her like that for a time, silently grateful for her return.  He actually thought she’d fallen asleep until he felt her head turn slightly, her lips near his ear asking softly, “How goes OCS?”

Kaidan chuckled and squeezed her just a bit more tightly.  Enough to get a bit of a squeak out of her at least.  Pulling back, he glanced down at her.  “Well enough,” he admitted, “though now that I know you are safe, it should be easier to focus.”  He winked at her to let her know he was teasing.  “I would imagine you’ll be here for awhile?” he asked a moment later.  She nodded.  “Well,” he continued while attempting to be nonchalant about the whole thing, “if you like ... perhaps I can stop by to see you on a daily basis?”

She gasped.  “But - you’ll have homework!” she protested.  “I’ve already distracted you enough -”

He smiled and leaned over until their foreheads pressed together again.  “I can do my work here,” he told her.  “I’ll even let you look it over, if you like, just to prove I’ve done it.”  He saw her concern soften then, fading into mild amusement.  Lifting his hand to tuck some of her hair behind her ear, he finished, “If you’re here, and I’m here, in the same place I mean, we shouldn’t waste the opportunity.”

“Hmm,” she hummed softly.  “I see your point,” she agreed at length, “though one of these days, I really wish we’d get some proper shore leave some place?  You know?”

Kaidan chuckled.  “One of these days,” he promised.  

 


	3. Dark Acts of History

_2176_

_Elysium_.  

Micah sighed as she set her bag upon the bed and collapsed into a flopping heap beside it, bouncing lightly up and down on the mattress as she did so.  As locations for shore leave went, she could think of better.  Smack in the middle of the Attican Traverse was _not_ her idea of a vacation away from it all, but given that they were attempting to maintain a somewhat low profile, and that currently they both had been stationed in the area, she had to admit that it certainly seemed to fit the bill.  After all, they would most likely be spending the larger portion of time together inside the room anyway, talking and catching up and, well, whatever else that might lead to ....  

A quick glance over at the clock assured her that it would be some time yet before he arrived.  So the question remained: What to do until then?  For the first time in nearly four years of service, Micah had finally taken an extended shore leave.  Currently in between duty assignments, she’d decided to tack it onto the tail end of her previous posting.  In five days’ time, she would be reporting to her new one.  Thankfully, it was a posting that would have her back on a ship.  Her last two assignments had kept her land-based and while both had been good experiences, she knew that deep down, she was meant for ships. _You can take the spacer off the ship, but you can’t get the stars out of her blood ...._

A short nap and a quick shower later ate up several of the hours she had to kill, but Micah guessed there was still a good five or six to go before Kaidan would be able to join her.  And that was _if_ his ship was still on schedule.  Donning her BDUs (there were numerous soldiers on leave here, she’d noticed, so she’d blend in fine), she exited the hotel room, locked her door and went in search of a meal.

She found a somewhat promising place right across the street and ducked inside off the busy footpaths outdoors.  A short time, a stack of pancakes and a cup of something that was called ‘tea’ but reminded Micah more of dirty dishwater later (urgh!), she paid her bill and returned to the crowds outside.  She recalled the tourists’ datapad in the hotel suggesting a tour of the city battlements - a ‘testament to the success and endurance of humanity in the Traverse,’ or something like that - and decided there were worse things she could be doing than partaking of local history.

She wandered along the walls alone, noting that for so late in the day there was still a pretty good crowd around, a goodly mix of soldiers and civilians.  Even, she noted, a few of the alien species.  Apparently, humans weren’t the only ones interested in their history.

A sudden ping at her left wrist had her checking the messages on her omni-tool immediately.  

_To: Lt. Firecracker_

_From: Lt. K. Alenko_

_RE: Shore Leave_

_ETA about four hours  Send me your navpoint coordinates and I will find you upon arrival.  K_

Micah grinned.  His timing, or rather, the ship’s, appeared to be better than expected, it seemed.  Hitting ‘reply,’ she typed:

_To: Lt. K.B. Alenko_

_From: Lt. M. Shepard_

_RE: RE: Shore Leave_

_Navpoint coordinates enclosed.  Location secured.  Shore leave imminent (and about damned time, too!).  Also have some news I -_

Micah blinked down at the screen as it fizzled a bit, the text fading in and out of focus.   _How odd._  She pressed a button or two, tried the trick Kaidan had showed her the last time her omni-tool had acted up in such a way, and finally just decided to try hitting the send button on the off chance it would actually go through.  She could always try to follow it up with a second message finishing her announcement.  A moment later, however, her entire system went blank and she sighed.  Kaidan had been urging her to replace this particular model for months now, pointing out that not only was it outdated, but a model sufficiently inferior to his own.  She had stubbornly refused.  She was rather fond of this model, despite its limitations, and besides, she was no tech-head ....

A loud explosion several hundred feet ahead of her shook the battlements beneath her feet, causing Micah and those in her immediate vicinity to stumble and fall.  Screams and cries of pain and alarm rent the air alerting her to the fact that there were injured, and she scrambled back to her feet among shouts around her.

“It came from above!”

“They’re attacking Elysium!”

The scene around her was rapidly dissolving into chaos.  Another explosion, and another further down the wall indicated that it was indeed a bombardment from above.  A glance over the edge of the wall alerted her to an incoming attack by ground troops as well.  A jostling at her side had her glancing over to find another soldier moving in beside her.  She threw out an arm to help steady him as she surveyed him quickly.  Though he was dressed in casual clothes, she noted the way he scanned the layout before them with a critical eye as well.  He was a marine all the way.  “Soldier,” she shouted, loud enough to be heard over the noise of continued gunfire around them, “we need to evacuate the area and get into cover.”

He nodded.  “Yes, ma’am!” he returned immediately.  She saw his eyes drop to her, noting her rank no doubt, before he turned around and called out names down the way that she did not recognize.  Within moments, though, four other off duty marines arrived and he began relaying her instructions.  Micah nodded at their hasty salutes in her direction.  “Let’s move it, people!” she told them.

They did what they could to evacuate those who were still in their vicinity, assisting those who needed it to ground level, escorting them further into the city.  Uncertain just how far back they should retreat, especially given the ground forces she’d observed headed in the direction of the wall, Micah led them back a good ten blocks until they ended up at long last at her hotel.  “Inside here,” she told them, ushering them all indoors, following only once the rest had entered before her.  Once inside, she found the other soldiers had met up with two others and were talking quietly up at the main desk.  Approaching them, she nodded as they quickly snapped to attention.  “At ease,” she told them quickly.  “Any ideas what we’re facing?”

A new voice entered through a nearby doorway.  “Lieutenant,” she heard the manager call to her, “if you come around here, I can show you.”

Frowning, she moved around behind the desk to the layout of multiple computer screens where he had pulled up some sort of vid feed.  “Is this live?” she asked while scanning the multiple camera angles.  As she spoke, she pointed at one particular screen.  A moment later, he hit a button and the picture froze.  “Sadly, no.  All feeds were cut just before the attack began, it would seem.”

Her frown deepened at that news ... and got her thinking, too.  Glancing at the others, she asked, “Are any of your omni-tools working?  I thought mine had died on me, but ....”

“Ma’am,” the soldier who had assisted her before stepped forward, “all our ‘tools are out.  They’ve cut communications.  My guess is all communications are being jammed.”  Micah glanced over at the manager who nodded.  

Another loud blast, though still some distance away, shook the ground, the building, and caused many of the civilians to emit cries of alarm.  For Micah, it only served to give her a focus point.  “Right.  So first thing, we need to get the communications back online.”  She glanced over at the manager again.  “Any idea of where the central server is located?”  

The manager nodded and manipulated one of the screens.  As he did so, Micah head the sound of approaching footsteps and glanced up to find yet another marine approaching them, this one with a large duffle bag in hand.  Blinking, she asked, “Um, something I should know about?”

Her liaison chuckled.  “Several of us were here on stopover for a training exercise,” he explained.  “We’re on our way to Luna to assist with arms training for basic.”

Micah’s eyes lit up at that.  Turning her attention back to him, she asked, “What’s your name?”

“Gunnery Chief David Ralston, ma’am.”  

Micah glanced at the rest of them.  Two corporals, the rest privates.  Nodding, she queried, “Don’t suppose you’ve got a spare pistol I could use?”

The woman who had brought down the duffle knelt beside it.  A moment later, she was handing a weapon over to Ralston who then handed it over to her.  Micah eyed it, examined it quickly, then tucked it away for the moment.  Beside her, the manager was clearing his throat.  Turning back to him, she found that he’d brought a map of the city up.  He began pointing out various areas of interest to her.  “Chief,” she called a moment later, “come around and look at this.”

For the next fifteen minutes, they scoured the map while several of the other marines took up weapons and placed themselves at the nearby doors to stand watch.  The manager answered any questions they had, offering suggestions of the quickest routes from one place to another as best he could.  

Sighing softly, Micah nodded her thanks and exited the area, stepping away from the front desk and gesturing Ralston to follow.  Once assured they had some relative privacy, she turned towards him.  “Thinking up a plan, ma’am?” he asked.  She lifted a brow at him and he chuckled.  “I’ve had plenty a lieutenant give me that sort of look before,” he explained.

Micah chuckled.  “I bet you have, chief,” she replied.  “Yeah, I’m getting an idea.  But first things first.  We’ve _got_ to get communications back up so we can get word out.”  Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair, tousling it before tucking some strands behind her ear.  

“Sounds about right to me,” he agreed.  

Eyeing the others around the room, she continued, “While I’m gone, I want you and the others to set your omni-tools to send out distress messages every five minutes.  Set it on repeat send at five minute intervals.  That way, once communications are back up, we won’t have to take the time to do it manually.”  She didn’t tell him that by that point she suspected they might be in the thick of hand to hand combat.  She figured he knew that as well as she did.

“Any particular destinations?” he asked.

Micah frowned.  “Alliance Command, Arcturus,” she began.  “Then in descending order of importance, Alliance Fleet Command, our embassy on the Citadel, your commanding officers, etc.”  She paused for another moment.  “Oh, also send to Admiral Steven Hackett - tell him you’re sending it on behalf of Lieutenant Micah Shepard.”  At the chief’s questioning look, she added, “He’s an old family friend.  He’ll make sure the right people see it.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Glancing back over at the now crowded lobby, she added quietly, “We need to arm the civilians, too.”

“Ma’am, are you sure ....”

Micah glanced over at him and nodded once.  “Absolutely.  We need to work together, chief.”  Her eyes traveled to the other marines.  “I need an engineer if we’ve got one,” she continued.  “Someone with tech experience.”  Not for the first time, Micah found herself wishing she had picked up some hacking skills over the years.  

“Collins, over here,” Ralston called out and Micah watched as the woman who had retrieved the weapons bag joined them.  

“Sir.”

Micah gave the woman a hard look.  “You a hacker?”

Collins nodded.  “Yes, ma’am.  Top of my class.”

Micah nodded.  “You’ll be with me then.”  She turned to step away, but backtracked just as quickly.  “You a biotic by chance?”

Collins shook her head.  “No, ma’am.  Straight engineer.”

“Right.”  Turning back to Ralston, Micah nodded at him.  “Get the others set on the message loops while I track down some equipment.  Oh, and also, anyone have a dark hoodie I could use?”

Both soldiers gave her a stunned look which had her chuckling as she pointed at her hair.  “You guys might blend in out there with your dark hair, but mine will make me a target.”

Ralston smirked and nodded.  “Yes, ma’am.  I’ll find you something, ” he promised.  

With that promise made, Micah turned to head towards the nearby kitchens.  She needed to find something to stock up on for later.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Before leaving the hotel, Micah had taken some time to speak with the civilians remaining with the other marines.  Several of them, she had found, did know how to use a weapon which made her feel a bit more comfortable about arming them for their own defense.  Others were given a bare basics course in about thirty minutes which, hopefully, would be enough to help them survive.  As much as she hated to do it, Micah saw that she had no choice in the matter.  If they were to survive and defend themselves against this attack, they were going to need assistance from both marine and civilian alike.  And so, she gave them what she hoped was a rousing (though necessarily short) speech before leaving them to fend for themselves until she could return.  Ralston seemed capable enough, though, and Micah had no qualms about leaving him in charge.  

Dark hoodie acquired, pockets filled with several energy bars and extra ammunition for her pistol, she and Corporal Marie Collins began weaving their way through the streets of Elysium towards the communications hub.  It was located near the spaceport, some few miles across town, and Micah had no doubts that the pair would meet resistance along the way.  The first instance occurred within the first few blocks of their departure.  Thankfully, it was only a small squad, apparently bent on forcing their way into a building more than paying attention to their surroundings and the two marines were able to take them out quickly and without undue notice.

Micah lost track of the time it took them to make their way across the city to the spaceport, but a wild guess had her thinking of it in terms of hours.  All she knew was the longer this went on, the antsier she became.  Not so much for herself, but for the others involved.  Friends and family who would be worried when they heard about the attack, the civilians of the city who suddenly found themselves caught up in an attack they clearly weren’t expecting, Kaidan who was expecting to have a vacation of sorts ....

She was leaning back against the wall of a housing complex, pistol in hand when that thought hit.  Grimacing, she pushed it aside.  There was nothing she could do about that right now.  Not until communications were restored.  “Collins?”

The engineer peeked around the corner.  “I see it, ma’am,” she whispered back.  

“How many?”

A slight hesitation.  “Enough to make this difficult,” she countered.  “And it doesn’t look as if we’ll be able to sneak around back to enter, either.”

Micah slid up behind the engineer and peeked around the corner herself to evaluate the scene.  After a long moment, she began to smile.  “What we need,” she murmured softly, “is a diversion.”  She pointed to the far side of the hub near the edge of the city walls.  “How many turrets do you have left, corporal?”  The light chuckle from beside her was enough for Micah to realize that the woman understood her train of thought.  “Enough to make this very interesting, ma’am.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

Kaidan sat back from the desk and his efforts at trying to re-establish contact with Micah.  Whatever had happened had occurred at her end of things, it seemed.  And though he knew it was probably her ‘tool giving out (hadn’t he warned her _again_ just the month before that it was about to die?), something about the way that her message had cut off just seemed ... wrong.  He’d run diagnostics on his ‘tool, run a couple of additional checks just to make certain everything was working properly, and now was left with a decision to make: was it simply the result of a technical failure, or was it something else?

Erring on the side of caution, Kaidan sent a brief message off to Admiral Hackett.  Micah had explained to him that, like Anderson, the man was a close family friend.  And while Kaidan knew and trusted Anderson, he wasn’t certain Anderson would have access to the resources that would be necessary to follow this line of questioning through.  The Admiral seemed the best option just then.

_To: Admiral S. Hackett_

_From: Lt. Kaidan Alenko_

_RE: Lt. Micah Shepard_

_Sir - Micah has given me to understand that I am to contact you if/when something were to go awry.  I am not 100% certain that this case qualifies, but as I have no other resources currently available, I am taking a chance.  Forgive me if I have sent this in error._

_At approximately 1800 h, I received a partial message from Micah.  It appeared to have been cut off suddenly during the transmission.  Given that her current location is on Elysium, and the tentative nature of things in that area, I thought it best to inform you.  At present, my ship is en route to the area, and by the time you receive this message, the answer to what has happened may have been resolved.  If that is the case, I apologize for disturbing you._

_Lt. Kaidan Alenko, SSV London_

The moment he sent the message, Kaidan put it out of his mind.  There would be no benefit to having doubts about it now, and if worst came to worst, he would receive a dressing down from the Admiral himself for wasting his time.  If that was the case, Kaidan could live with it.  But his gut instinct was screaming at him that he’d made the right call.  In the meantime, he returned to packing his duffle for shore leave.  If things _were_ just fine and it was only her ‘tool acting up, Kaidan still hoped to have a day or two of leave with her before anyone caught back up to him regarding his decision.

He finished not twenty minutes later, tossing the bag into the corner to be grabbed upon arrival, and was about to sit down with a book he intended to finish before arriving on Elysium when he heard the sound of hurried footsteps in the hall outside his quarters.  Stepping out, he was nearly bowled over by Lieutenant Sam Lewis.  “Hey!” he exclaimed while jumping back a step out of the way.  “Where’s the fire?”

Lewis grabbed him by the arm, though, and started dragging him along.  Kaidan had no choice but to follow.  “Christ, Sam!” Kaidan exclaimed.  “What gives?”

“Word’s come in ... we’re arriving in a hot zone.  Batarians attacking Elysium.”

Kaidan struggled to keep up both physically and mentally as his friend’s words settled.  “Batarians?  Shit!”  They arrived at the armory and Kaidan found that every single marine on board was grabbing arms and armor, loading up into shuttles.  As he reached his locker and began the process, he heard a ping at his left wrist and paused briefly to take the incoming message in the hopes that it was, by some chance, Micah.

_To: Lt. Kaidan Alenko, SSV London_

_From: Admiral Steven Hackett_

_RE: RE: Lt. Micah Shepard_

_Lieutenant, you made the right call._

_Hackett_

 

~ ~ ~

 

In the end, it wasn’t the communications hub that was the more difficult task.  After setting Corporal Collins’ sentry turrets to distract the batarians with a mock battle on the far side of the block, some distance away from the building, Micah and Collins were able to slip inside, eliminate the source of the jamming, and restore communications.  No, the difficulties came _after_ they had left the building and started their way back towards the hotel, along the way coming upon a heated battle near the main gates to the city.

“Shit, ma’am!” Collins exclaimed, pulling Micah down behind a barricade with her just before a grenade went off on the other side.  

Micah grunted, feeling an almost instantaneous sharp pain in her upper right shoulder as her barriers gave way and she landed on the ground beside Collins.  “Dammit!” she hissed, biting back further comment as she dropped her pistol and immediately reached towards the wound.  Collins appeared to notice too and assisted.  

“Looks like some shrapnel in there,” the engineer commented.  A moment later, “And I can’t get it out without a medical kit.”

Biting back a groan, Micah lifted her omni-tool and immediately applied medi-gel to the area.  “That’ll have to do for now,” she muttered.  She reached for the pistol again and only felt mild concern when she found she could not lift her arm above a certain point.  At least she was fully trained for either hand with a pistol.  Hopefully, her injury wouldn’t hinder her biotics to much.  

Once tended to as much as they could, Micah rose up just enough to catch a glimpse of the happenings over by the gate.  “Shit,” she murmured.  “We need to find a way to get that gate sealed.”  Too many troops were entering the city through the door that, as far as she could tell, had been blown partially open.  The question was, how?

Collins knelt up beside her.  “Somehow,” she replied acerbically, “I doubt the turrets will help much.”

“Hmmm.”  Ahead of them, Micah spotted an assortment of marines and civilians doing their best to keep the enemy from making their way further into the city.  “Come on,” she hissed, moving into a crouch before scrambling towards them.  They paused periodically for cover, to hide from the worst of the shots, explosions and debris, and eventually made it up to what Micah assumed was the forward command.  Led by a sergeant, she noted.  “Lieutenant,” the woman sighed, “am I ever glad to see you, ma’am!”

Micah offered her a small, wry grin.  “What’s the situation, Sergeant ...?”

“Thomas, ma’am.  They blew the gates about twenty minutes ago and have been swarming in ever since.  We’ve been able to contain them here for the moment, but we’re losing people faster than they are.  At this rate we’ll be overrun in less than half an hour!”

Another explosion nearby shook the ground and had everyone ducking lower in instinctive reaction.  “What assets do we have available?” Micah shouted over the din.

“Basically, what you see is what you’ve got, ma’am,” Thomas returned.  “We’ve got marines up front, civilians in the rear, but I think we all know it’s going to take a miracle to get us out of this.”

“Yeah.”  Her mutter was low, but she suspected the woman heard it anyway.  “Alright,” she began again, her tone taking on the strength of command, “I’ve got an idea ....”

 

~ ~ ~

 

They were in the shuttles, dodging their way planetside when Kaidan heard another ping at his wrist.  Glancing down, he saw he had another message.  

_To: Lt. Kaidan Alenko_

_From: Lt. Micah Shepard_

_RE: ELYSIUM IS UNDER ATTACK_

_Kaidan - get the message out - Elysium is under attack.  Communications are down, this is a looped message.  Defenders will be a mix of soldiers and civilians.  Attackers are batarians as far as I can tell.  I’m heading to the communications center to see about bringing it back online so you and others can receive these warnings.  If you get this, I’ve been successful.  After that, I’ll work my way back towards the hotel.  If you can, meet me there with everyone/thing you can.  M_

_PS - Remind me next time we discuss shore leave that it is, all things considered and being equal, an inherently BAD IDEA!_

Kaidan stared at the message, absorbing it all as quickly as he could.  The timestamp on it had it written at least four hours ago.  It made him wonder ....

_To: Lt. Micah Shepard_

_From: Lt. Kaidan Alenko_

_RE: RE: ELYSIUM IS UNDER ATTACK_

_What’s your present location?  Reinforcements are on the way.  Heading to the spaceport.  ETA fifteen minutes.  K_

“Major?” he called out, signalling the man up front speaking with the pilot.  He maneuvered his way through the ship and met him in the cockpit.  “I’ve got a contact down there, sir.  Communications to the ground are re-established.”

“Good job, Alenko.  Any insights into -”

Kaidan’s omni-tool pinged.  Glancing down, he read:

_To: Lt. Kaidan Alenko_

_From: Lt. Micah Shepard_

_RE: RE: RE: ELYSIUM IS UNDER ATTACK_

_City gates.  Door’s been breached.  You’ve got fifteen to get your ass here or I’m taking things into my own hands.  Nav point attacked.  HURRY!  M_

Kaidan grimaced.  “City gates,” he replied while typing out a quick response.

_To: Lt. Micah Shepard_

_From: Lt. Kaidan Alenko_

_RE: RE: RE: ELYSIUM IS UNDER ATTACK_

_Don’t do anything stupid!  K_

 

~ ~ ~

 

Micah glanced over as Collins moved beside her and Thomas.  “Well?” she asked while trying to sound hopeful but not holding her breath.  

Collins shook her head.  “Sorry, ma’am. I only managed to scrounge up two.”

Sighing, Micah nodded and took the grenades from the other woman.  “That’ll have to do.”  A soft ping at her wrist had her glancing down.  She nearly laughed as she read Kaidan’s message.  Quickly, she typed out a response:

_To: Lt. Kaidan Alenko_

_From: Lt. Micah Shepard_

_RE: ~~RE: RE: RE: ELYSIUM IS UNDER ATTACK~~  Hurry_

_Hey, you know me.  M_

Turning back to face the women, she asked, “So, understood?”  She watched the sergeant and the corporal exchange and uneasy look, but neither one protested.  Instead, they both nodded.  “Good.  Give me five to ten good, solid minutes of distraction.  That should give me time to get around to the doorway and get that thing sealed off.”

Collins scowled.  “You need someone to have your back, lieutenant,” she muttered.  “You’ll stand a better chance -”

Micah laid a hand upon the woman’s shoulder.  “What I need,” she replied calmly, “is a good distraction.  I need these guys to think we’re throwing everything at them, not that someone is sneaking around to slam the door shut behind them.”  Micah glanced over the edge of the barricade once more, then at her omni-tool which beeped at the same time.  The first thing she realized was that they were out of time.  The batarians were attacking now.  The second thing she noticed ...

_To: Lt. Micah Shepard_

_From: Lt. Kaidan Alenko_

_RE: RE: Hurry_

_Five minutes!  K_

Micah huffed a single laugh of wry amusement, fingers flying over the keys.

_To: Lt. Kaidan Alenko_

_From: Lt. Micah Shepard_

_RE: RE: RE: Hurry_

_“Always a bridesmaid, never a bride,” as the saying goes.  You’ll know when you hear it.   M_

She hit the send button as she scampered away from Collins and Thomas and made her way in a large arc around the area, searching for a path that would lead her away from the most resistance.  Pausing off to the side, once out of sight, she pulled out her ‘tool one last time and sent off one last message.

_To: Lt. Kaidan Alenko_

_From: Lt. Micah Shepard_

_RE: Remember_

_Remember, Kaidan, I play for keeps.  Find me.  M_

Turning her ‘tool to ‘off,’ she slipped into the shadows between buildings and began moving at a fast clip towards the city’s gates.

 

~ ~ ~

 

They were coming in for a landing at the spaceport, doors opening before them, when he heard the soft ping.  The message was brief, but it frightened him more than any other she’d sent to date.  Gathering his squad, he pulled himself together and led them off at a fast pace into the city.  He had to get to her before she did something stupid ... like getting her mind set on doing something by herself and getting herself killed in the process.

They found little resistance at first, and moved in block by block, street by street.  The closer they got to the navpoint Micah had sent them, however, the more fighting picked up.  Kaidan led his team into the thick of it, the others from his shuttle and others following suit.  They moved in fast and furiously, and apparently just in time, finding very few defenders remaining.  Directing his troops to take up defensive positions, Kaidan made his way over to a sergeant he found bandaging a corporal.  “Sergeant,” he called out as he and another took up defensive positions around them, “have you seen Lieutenant Micah Shepard?”  He thought how best to describe her and realized it was more of a struggle than he’d ever thought it would be.  “Shortish, reddish-brown hair, biotic with a stubborn streak a mile long?”

The sergeant snorted, he noted and he saw the corporal’s eyes widen.  “She’s trying to seal the breach,” the sergeant replied, nodding in the direction of the city gates.

Kaidan frowned.  “How?” he demanded.  As he eyed it, he could tell that it would take heavy weapons to make any sort of dent ....

“Biotics and a couple of grenades, she said,” the corporal provided.  Kaidan glanced over to stare at her for a long moment.  “I found her a couple of lift grenades.  She asked us to distract these guys for ‘a good five to ten minutes.’”

“How long has it been?”

Ground tremors and a booming sound of an explosion coming from that side of the battlefield was all the answer they needed to that question.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Micah met little resistance as she made her way around which told her that the troops she’d left behind were doing as she asked ... and a damn good job of it.  As she neared the city gates, however, her chances for discovery increased.  Still, knowing she had limited time to work with, she kept moving, putting her trust and faith in luck more than anything, really.

Moving forward, she found an area off to the side where she still had the gates in her line of sight while at the same time had a place of cover to duck behind when necessary.  Troops were still swarming in through the doors, the opening caused by the misshapen gate, bent so horribly off kilter.  There was no way she could fix it perfectly, that much she could see.  However, with a bit of creative application of biotic skill, she might be able to wedge it shut in such a manner as to cease the flow of troops into the city.  Ideally, her hope was to bend the protruding edge back enough that the doors could be wedged together, and if not the original lock put back in place, some other method of securing it be utilized.  

_First things first, though,_ she told herself.   _I need to get those troops out of the way so I can get the gate closed and create some space to get that door bent back into shape._  

Timing was going to be everything here, it seemed.  The lift grenades she had would have to be enough to reshape the door into something closeable.  That meant she could focus her energies on the troops moving in.  Quickly, she made her decisions, trapping several within a stasis bubble, then using her warp and singularities to pull in as many as she could of the others.  It was exhausting work, and by the time she was finished, she wondered if she’d have the strength to toss the grenades properly.  But, her will being as stubborn as it was (not to say she viewed it as such, but with parents and friends telling her on a constant basis just how stubborn she was, she allowed a bit of leeway with the description), she managed to move in closer and throw the two grenades she had, positioning them to (hopefully) bend the side lip of the door back towards its proper positioning.

What she hadn’t counted on was the force of the explosion.  Her last thought as she felt herself caught up in the blastwave picking her up and tossing her about in the air like a piece of dust fluff was that someone had packed those two grenades with one hell of a kick.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Kaidan signalled his men to follow as the concussion from the blast faded.  The battle seemed to be winding down now, though he was not certain if that had been more due to the blast or to the arrival of reinforcements.  However, at that moment, he really didn’t care.  He knew, he just _KNEW_ that Micah had been involved with that detonation.  As he ran, he tried to ignore the panic building inside him.  Booted steps thumping along the streets, each sound echoed with his thoughts, _Please be okay ... please be okay ...._

They found a few stragglers whom they had no trouble subduing and continued on at a fairly quick clip.  Finally, as they approached the gates, Kaidan could see some of the broader area of damage caused by the blast.  But as of yet, he still had not seen any sign of Micah.  Had she managed to get away?  Perhaps run to a safe distance or found a hiding place behind or inside one of the buildings?

“Lieutenant, over here!”

Kaidan’s head snapped around to his right.  He found Winslow kneeling beside ...   _Oh shit!_  He could feel the panic beginning to spread out now, though he tried to hide it as he moved to kneel beside her unconscious form.  Setting his weapon aside, he reached for his omni-tool and began scanning her with that hand while grabbing for the medical supplies he always carried with the other.  “Winslow, get me the -”

His orders were interrupted as Micah’s slight form spasmed, body folding up as she started coughing.  Kaidan slid an arm beneath her shoulders, murmuring at her to lie still, but she was shaking her head back and forth, still coughing, struggling to sit up.  “You couldn’t wait five more minutes, could you?” he asked as his scan completed.  It was then that he found her earlier injury to her shoulder.  

“Too ... slow,” she rasped while attempting to push his hands away from her right arm.  “Overrun.”  The gasp she emitted as he tore her sleeve down so he could see the injury set her off into another fit of coughing.  

“What the hell?” he muttered, reaching for the kit at his side.  

“Shrapnel,” she managed.  “Fragment grenade.”  She winced as he tended to the injury.  “Shit!” she finally yelped.

Kaidan frowned, but his eyes were on what he was doing.  “Wimp,” he muttered.  “You do all this,” he used a free hand to gesture towards the city gates, “only to wimp out at a bit of first aid.”

Micah’s frown narrowed to match his as she glanced over at him.  “You know, next time -”

He snorted.  “What ‘next time’?” he demanded.  “If you think I’m going to let you loose on shore leave without me around to keep you out of trouble, think again.”

Their eyes met and held for a moment then before they both began chuckling.  Using his omni-tool, Kaidan applied medigel before wrapping her arm in bandages.  As he did so, Micah scanned the area surrounding them.  Her eyes widened just a bit as she realized just how far she’d been tossed by the explosion. “Wow,” she murmured, awe tinging her tone just a bit.  “Those grenades packed quite a punch!”

Kaidan turned to survey the scene as well.  The city gates were a warped mess, but they were holding and, somehow, were wedged shut.  Nothing was getting in or out.  “What were you trying to do?” he asked curiously.

Micah sighed.  Pointing, she explained, “That gate was bent - folded over on the edge, and wouldn’t shut right.  I was trying to ... I don’t know ... reshape it?  Slam it shut while straightening it enough to close up the gap they were getting through?”  Shaking her head, she used her left hand to run loosely through the hair that had fallen into her face.  “Sounds pretty stupid, I suppose, but it’s all I could think of on the fly ....”

Kaidan seated himself beside her quietly, his eyes examining the gates as he sat there.  “Whatever it was, it seems to have worked.”

“Heh, yeah.  Almost too well.”  Her hand now moved to the back of her head which she prodded gently.  “Ouch!  The backlash tossed me ... must’ve hit my head when I landed.”

“You’ve got a mild concussion,” he told her.  “Did you have your barriers up?”

A look of incredulity passed over her as she tilted her face towards him.  “Of _course_ I had my barriers up!  I’m not some newb out of basic, you know!”  Retaliating, she punched his arm.

He winced.   She was petite, no doubt about it, but she, like her grenades, packed a punch too.  After all, he’d nicknamed her ‘firecracker’ for a reason, right?  “No, no ... I wasn’t suggesting you were -” he began.

“Yes, you were,” she countered.  Sighing, she let it pass then and leaned over, sagging against him.  “Remind me again why I decided to become a marine?” she mumbled.  

The question was rhetorical, of course, but Kaidan couldn’t help himself.  “Something about the life of adventure, wasn’t it?  Getting away from it all?”

Suddenly very exhausted, she could only lean against him and chuckle weakly.  “Something like that, yeah.”  Another sigh.  “We should probably start heading back,” she murmured then, gesturing in the general direction of where she’d left Thomas and Collins what seemed hours before but was, in all probability, less than an hour.  There were still scattered sounds of gunfire, and she knew the mopping up action would take a while still, but for the most part, the battle appeared to be over.  As Kaidan stood and offered her a hand up, she took it and added, “I wonder if Uncle David can get me out of responsibility for the damage done here?”

Kaidan’s laughter washed over her as he replied, “Now _that_ I’d like to see,” he teased.  He handed her his pistol then and an energy bar he’d pulled out and opened for her.  “We might be out of the woods right now,” he reminded her, “but you know how I -”

Micah smiled softly and bumped his arm with her good shoulder as she took a bite.  She hated the things, but she knew she needed it.  “Always be prepared.  Right.  I know.”  She giggled then as they walked off, the rest of his troops forming up around them.  “You’re such a boy scout, you know that?”

He grinned at her.  “Maybe,” he returned, “but I bet it’s not me who gets my picture plastered all over the news for saving Elysium today.”

Micah groaned.  Sad thing was, she knew he was right.  “So much for shore leave, huh?”

Though they weren’t alone at the moment, he did grasp the hand beside him and squeezed it briefly.  “We’ll figure something out,” he promised.  

They rounded a corner and in the distance could see more shuttles landing over by the spaceport.  Closer, they found troops beginning to sort through the area, assisting those who were injured, and generally beginning clean up procedures.  “Is it bad that all I want to do right now is head to the hotel, lie down and take a nap?” she asked him.  His laugh was reassuring, though, and certainly gave her a boost for the debrief that was sure to come.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super huge thanks to MireliAmbar, LadyJess and YarnandTea for betaing this chapter!


	4. Time For Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I've upped the rating here for two reasons and I'm issuing a trigger warning: 
> 
> 1) There is discussion here of an attempted suicide. Nothing graphic, mostly the reasoning behind it, but I wanted people to be aware of it up front.
> 
> 2) There is heavy suggestion of consensual sex. Again, nothing overly graphic, just a lot left to the imagination.

_“I bet it’s not me who gets my picture plastered all over the news for saving Elysium today.”_

Kaidan had been right about that call, Micah found out almost immediately following the incident.  As she’d feared, the idea of shore leave had quickly fallen apart after joining up with the others.  Micah had immediately been sent off to Arcturus Station to debrief with Alliance command, as were many of the other soldiers who’d been on leave at the time.  Once this concluded, she found herself suddenly and quite unexpectedly being turned down a path she’d not anticipated.  

Over the next several weeks there were the usual ceremonies and awards that went along with something like this (and god, how she hated the fuss and attention, but she managed to keep a smile plastered on), giving a face to the successful defense of a human colony and the saving of so many lives was something to be celebrated, of course.  That, she supposed, was part and parcel with things, but, shortly after the pomp and circumstance concluded, she was informed that she would be meeting up with the public relations side of the Alliance for a ‘photo shoot.’  High command had apparently decided that she was to become the face for a new Alliance recruitment campaign.  Now, while Micah knew well and good how to take orders, and that certain things were to be expected of marines, _this_ particular one had been a bit more difficult to swallow.  On the day of the shoot itself, the whole thing almost ended in blows until Anderson’s timely arrival gave him a perfect opportunity to pull her away from it all.  

“They want to send me around on some … recruitment campaign!” Micah burst out after Anderson had led her into a side room and closed the door behind them.  “I’m not some … figurehead or model or ... image or … Dammit, Anderson, I’m a _marine_!  A soldier!  I’m a fighter!  Let me get out there and do what I do best!”

Anderson, to his credit, stood there watching her, arms folded across his chest as he leaned against the wall.  Any amusement he might have had at the situation was well contained.  “So,” he murmured, “you want to be a soldier, hmm?”

His tone caught her off guard, but Micah saw the twinkle in his eyes as she turned to face him.  She’d been about to lose her cool again, to go all ‘firecracker’ as Kaidan called it, but something about that look made her hesitate.  “I _AM_ a soldier,” she reminded him fiercely, arms folding to match his.  “And neither you nor anyone else can prove otherwise!”

He nodded.  “I’m glad you remembered.  I was beginning to think all of this,” he gestured towards the doorway, “was going to your head.  Don’t you think it’s about damned time you get back to it then?”

Micah blinked and felt her momentary surge of anger fade as suddenly as it had arrived.  She could ignore his teasing if he was being honest about her getting back to ‘work.’ “Seriously?”

Anderson nodded again.  “But,” he continued, “not with the assignment you were originally given.”

More deflation at that.  He was about to send her off on this stupid recruitment campaign after all, wasn’t he?  Call it part of her duty to the service?  He straightened then and pulled orders from his pocket, handing them over to her.  Micah took it almost gingerly in hand, opening it slowly, eyes falling to the page and immediately beginning to read the words there while preparing for the worst.  The gasp that slipped past her lips was the only sound in the room a moment later.  

“Problem with your orders, Staff Lieutenant?” Anderson asked, though there was a hint of amusement to his tone now.  It was clear, he’d gotten the upper hand in their conversation.  They both knew it.

Micah’s eyes flew up to meet his.  “This … is this … for real?” she finally managed.

Anderson nodded.  “You’ve been recommended for ICT.  Pack your bags, Lieutenant.”

Micah straightened and saluted him.  “Yes, sir!”  He had turned and was nearly at the door when she called out in a softer tone, “Uncle David?”

He turned back to face her.  “Yes, child?”

Micah crossed over to him and wrapped her arms around him briefly.  “Thank you.”

“For what?”

She smiled as she took a step back.  “Well, for starters, for helping me get this far,” she told him.  When he looked confused, she added, “After dad’s passing … I was a bit of a mess.  I might not have -”

“Ah.”  Anderson clapped an arm around her shoulder and squeezed tightly.  “Well, the way I figure, you and Colton had the right of it.  You were meant to be a soldier.  You might have forgotten that for awhile … become a bit lost along the way … but you still wanted it, deep down.  Otherwise, you wouldn’t have made it this far, or been able to do what you did on Elysium, right?”  His smile widened and he turned, placing both hands on her shoulders.  “And now look at you!” he exclaimed.  “Heading off to ICT.  You know he’d have been proud.”

Micah felt tears welling, but she nodded.  “I do,” she replied quietly.  She took a deep breath.  “Mom will be too, I guess.”  Anderson nodded.  Another deep breath.  “Right then.  I guess I … should go?”

Anderson chuckled.  “You should,” he told her.  “Go on, get out of here.  I’ll clear things at this end.”

Micah was jogging away at a fast clip when she called back over her shoulder, “Thank you, sir!”  Moments later, she’d just ducked into an elevator when she got an idea ….

 

~ ~ ~

 

_To: Lt. K. B. Alenko_

_From: Lt. M. Shepard_

_RE: Tonight_

_I’ve got new orders and will be leaving on tomorrow’s shuttle.  Want to meet for dinner?  M_

 

~ ~ ~

 

Kaidan groaned.  He was supposed to receive a few days leave after the fiasco at Elysium, the necessary debriefings and ceremonies that followed, and now his ship being in dock for repairs, but it wasn’t going to be effective until the following day.  Again,  the timing of Micah’s message, one that was most definitely welcome, was off.  Sighing, he replied:

_To: Lt. Firecracker_

_From: Lt. K. Alenko_

_RE: RE: Tonight_

_Sadly, I can’t.  I’ve got duty watch tonight.  Leave begins tomorrow morning.  K_

 

~ ~ ~

 

Micah didn’t have much in her apartment that was worth taking to ICT other than her uniforms and gear, so packing was relatively easy and quick.  She was just finishing up and setting her bag in the front room when she received Kaidan’s reply.  Reading it, she realized she should have expected it.  They never did seem to catch a break.

_To: Lt. K. B. Alenko_

_From: Lt. M. Shepard_

_RE: RE: RE: Tonight_

_Figures.  Got a couple hours right now?  Something I need to tell you … but I want to do it in person.   My apartment.  M_

 

~ ~ ~

 

Kaidan glanced at the chronometer on his omni-tool.  He had several hours before he had to report for duty … so why not?  

_To: Lt. Firecracker_

_From: Lt. K. Alenko_

_RE: RE: RE: RE: Tonight_

_Be there in fifteen.  K_

 

~ ~ ~

 

Micah was in the kitchen when Kaidan arrived.  Setting a mug of tea on the counter for him, she took her own in hand and moved over to sit on the couch.  “So, what’s going on?” he asked as he took the mug in hand and followed her.  “What’s so important that you wanted to tell me in person.”

Sipping at her tea, Micah nodded at the paper on the coffee table.  “Take a look,” she suggested.  She shifted on the couch, attempting to find a more comfortable position.  The place was shared by her and three others she’d met at basic, all of whom were out on deployments at the moment, but at least it gave them a place to leave the majority of their belongings between assignments.  The fact that the couch was so stiff and uncomfortable was evidence enough of the infrequencies of their visits.  

“ICT ….”

Micah waited for him to glance over at her.  Nodding, she replied, “Yeah.  Could have knocked me over with a feather when Uncle David told me.”

“I can imagine,” Kaidan murmured as he set the orders back onto the table.  “That’s … wow.  That’s just ….  Congratulations!”

Micah felt a blush rise to her cheeks then.  “Thanks.  Anyway, that’s why I’m headed out tomorrow.  I have to report to Rio to start training.”  She sipped at her tea again.  Truth be told, deep down, she was rather nervous now that she’d had some time to think about it.  Did she have what it took to make N7?

“So … we’re looking at … what?  A year’s training?” Kaidan asked.

Micah blinked and glanced over at him again.  Leave it to him to look at the practical side of things.  “Give or take, yes,” she replied.  Eyes closing, she sighed softly and murmured, “And that’s assuming I make the cut along the way.  I only hope I have what it takes ….”

 

~ ~ ~

 

Kaidan set his mug aside on the table before reaching for hers and doing the same.  Then taking her hands in his, he waited for her to look at him.  She was fighting it, he could tell, but eventually she would give in.  She always did when he was patient.  Once she was looking at him, he offered her a smile of reassurance and squeezed her hands tightly for a moment.  “You have what it takes, Micah,” he told her quietly.  “You have an inner strength I’ve seen in a rare few.  A determination that helps you get the job done that I’ve seen first hand.  Don’t ever doubt that you can do it.  If you ever need a reminder, just look at what you did on Elysium.”

She groaned.  “Don’t remind me!” she admonished.  “I’m never going to hear the end of that!”

Kaidan chuckled.  “Hey, you should view it as your calling card!” he teased.

He was not surprised when she pulled a hand from his and hit his upper arm with it.  “Yeah, and from now until the end of time I’ll have reporters dogging my every movement!” she returned.  “You know one even followed me when I went to the store to get groceries the other day?”

Kaidan was seriously trying to swallow back his laughter, particularly because he saw the warning signs of her ‘firecracker’ nature beginning to show, but a snort of amusement did escape before he could help it.  And she heard him, that much was clear with the warning growl noise she made.  That just made it worse, the bubbles of laughter rising and escaping even as her glare narrowed and darkened.  “Hey, now!” he yelped as she suddenly launched herself at him, pushing him backwards onto the couch.  

“You weren’t there the day they gave me the Star of Terra,” she protested.  “You didn’t see how they literally followed my every move during that ceremony with their cameras … ugh!  And then, they followed me home after!  It was all I could do to get in here without them sneaking in behind me!”

He couldn’t stop laughing, no matter how hard he tried, which only seemed to infuriate her further.  First his arm, then his shoulder … Kaidan could see that she was headed for a full outburst if he didn’t do something soon to distract her.  And he figured he knew just how to do that.  It had worked at other times, right?

Launching himself upwards, despite the fact she’d had him pinned down, he flipped them around so that he now had her pinned to the couch, hands holding her arms over her head, eyes meeting hers and flashing with just a hint of mischief.  As he focused on her eyes, he could see the moment she realized what his plan was.  Her eyes widened just a bit, recognition settling in, just before she sucked her breath in sharply …

 

~ ~ ~

 

Micah felt mesmerized by the look in Kaidan’s eyes as he stared down at her.  She should have guessed, really.  He’d used this tactic on her before, to the same ends.  But this was the first time he’d actually pinned her to the sofa … and that look in his eyes ….

Kissing him had never been an issue for her, and this time was the same.  The moment he caught her lips, she heard the tell tale groan escape, the one that always seemed to urge him on.  This time, it was no different.  And for the briefest of moments, their lips dueled together in the most delightful of combat arenas.  Giving, taking, it didn’t matter which side they were on, both were just as invested in the outcome.  Then again, this time there was a difference, and it was something they both seemed to recognize instantly.  In the past, their experimentation had limited itself to kissing and some heavy touching, rumpled clothes and the like, but not anything further.  This time, though, Micah could see in his eyes that he was wanting something more … and she realized she was too.  Was this what would have happened had they had shore leave together on Elysium? she couldn’t help but wonder.

Their lips dancing together, their breaths sounding harsh in the otherwise empty apartment, Micah heard another groan escape, but whether it was from her or him, she wasn’t sure.  She kept her eyes on his, though, searching for what he wanted, communicating without words.  Kaidan sat back, easing her up to kneel before him, his hands moving to work the zipper of her hoodie, the buttons of her shirt.  She recognized the instant he’d succeeded too, feeling both the cool air kissing her skin as well as his lips and tongue.  Her own hands moved to his shirt, yanking it from his waistband at the same time, before starting on the buttons she found there.  

In a moment, however, her entire world shifted and reality came crashing down around her with a suddenness that left her nearly breathless.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Kaidan felt her body stiffen as his hands brushed against her shoulders, material bunching around her arms, sliding off her shoulders to free her from their bindings.  A moment later, she was rasping, “No!” and pushing against his chest with her hands, her legs desperately scrambling to move her away.  

Swallowing sudden confusion, Kaidan leaned back, running a hand through his hair.  “Micah?” he gasped, gulping in huge draughts of air.  “What … what’s wrong?”

She’d  made her way to the far side of the couch, and as he glanced over at her, the look in her eyes made him cringe and reminded him of the day they’d first met so long before.  What had happened to cause this? he wondered.  “Talk to me,” he pleaded, though he remained on the opposite side of the piece of furniture.

Her hands were scrabbling at her shirt and hoodie, pulling them back around her frame, but not fighting to secure them.  He didn’t think that was the problem.  Then again, she _was_ tugging at her sleeves, pulling them down around her arms, grasping the edges tightly in her fists.  But still, she remained silent.

Kaidan rose and moved a bit closer to her, ignoring how she drew her legs up before her, how she wouldn’t look directly at him.  He knelt before her, yet he did not reach out to touch her.  “Micah?” he pleaded again.  “What’s wrong?  Did I -”

Her head shook, dark auburn waves flying about her face.  “Not you,” she whispered.  “Me.”  

There was almost a sob in her tone just then, and he could tell it took a great deal of effort for her to say that much.  Taking a chance, he reached a hand out to touch her cheek, brushing some of the waves away from her face.  Lightly, his hand framed her chin, attempting to convince her to look at him.  When she finally gave in, he winced at the pain he saw there.  “Tell me.”

She shook her head again.  “I … I can’t,” she told him.  “I … Kaidan, it _isn’t_ you.”  Her hand lifted, reaching out to him, but stopping before it actually touched him.  

Kaidan hesitated before closing the distance and lacing his fingers through hers.  She resisted at first, but he could tell she was fighting a battle within herself as she did so.  He wanted to insist, to have her explain to his satisfaction why she was pulling away from him like this when it was clear there was something strong there between them, but he knew he wouldn’t.  He cared too much.  Knew her too well.  They’d come so far together … he didn’t want to lose that now.  

 

~ ~ ~

 

Inner demons she’d not faced since she was seventeen came back with a roaring fury the minute the fabric began to slide over her shoulders, and Micah hated herself for it.  It was the one thing that could, upon occasion, sneak up and catch her off guard, given the right trigger.  Apparently, the moment Kaidan had tried to move their growing relationship to the next level had been that moment.  And as much as she might want that with him, the fear of his reaction to her past choices held her back.  So when she told him, _It isn’t you, it’s me_ , she was dead serious.

And yet, despite all that, he tried to keep her from pulling away.  Why was that?  Surely, he didn’t know.  She went to great lengths to hide it from everyone around her.  At this point in her life, it was second nature.  So … why?  She searched his eyes for an answer, saw things there she wasn’t certain she could identify … or perhaps more accurately, was _afraid_ to identify because if she was wrong ….

Swallowing tightly, her eyes closed, her breathing calmed, her hand lowered from his to settle upon her lap.  Of all her fears regarding this, there was one thing that stood out: since she had met him, Kaidan had been the one person since her father and Anderson to stand by her, give her his full support, encourage her to become what she wanted.  The fact that he clearly wanted more with her coincided with what she wanted, too.  But how would he react to the rest?

He remained kneeling before her, she was able to sense that even with her eyes shut.  He did not press, or prod, or force her hand in any way.  He was leaving the decision completely up to her.  And yet again, she felt a huge surge of emotion wash through her, nearly overwhelming her when it came to him.  What was she to do?

Eyes still shut, she reached her hand out once again.  He caught it immediately, lacing their fingers together.  “I’m … not nearly as strong as you seem to think,” she told him quietly, voice cracking as she spoke.  “I have my faults, like everyone else.”  Eyes opened to find him watching her intently.  For half a moment, she froze, abject terror overwhelming her.  It wasn’t too late to stop.  To pull back.  But something was guiding her down this path, and it was a path she’d known she’d have to face at some point in her life.  Better sooner rather than later, right?

Swallowing tightly, Micah slowly turned their joined hands until her forearm was face up.  Only then did she reach out with her other hand and with the briefest of hesitations, pull the sleeve back, bunching it up towards her elbow.  Hands still joined together, she managed to do the same with the other, until finally, she turned so he could clearly see both.  Over the years, the marks had faded, but they were still there.  They would _always_ be there.  Thin white lines that were a reminder of a time of desperation so great that the only solace she could find was ….

He gasped, presumably realizing what they were, the sound harsh in the air around them.  Drawing her lower lip between her teeth, Micah began worrying at it as she awaited further reaction.  

“When?” he asked after a couple of minutes passed.  “Why?”  His eyes rose to meet hers.

“Two months before I met you,” she told him.  “My father was dead, my mother distant, and I’d nearly killed a boy because my biotics chose that moment to manifest.”  She drew in a shaky breath.  “I was … lost.  Alone.  Weak.  I had no one to talk to, nowhere to turn, and I tried to quit life … permanently.”

The silence fell again, but it didn’t last long.  And this time, it was _she_ who gasped as he pulled both of her hands towards himself and lifted them so he could place his lips gently over the scars.  She struggled to pull back, but he would not release them.  “Kaidan … what are you doing?”

His eyes met hers and she saw something fierce there.  Something … driven.  “You were strong,” he told her sincerely, a fire beginning to build behind his eyes.  “If you’d really wanted to end it all, you would have found a way … but you didn’t.  You made a call for help … someone heard it and after all of that, you still found a way to fight back.  To keep going.  You survived.”

Micah blinked.  The conviction in his voice was so strong.  As if somehow … he knew....  Again, he lifted her hand, but this time he pressed just the one to the scars around his lips.  Confusion must have shown, because he began to speak, to describe BAaT, the turian who had been his instructor, the girl who, it appeared, he’d taken a liking to at the time.  And then …

“He hurt her.”  Micah frowned as his voice became monotonic.  “All she wanted was a glass of water, but instead of using her biotics to reach for it, she used her hand.  He punished her by breaking her arm.  All for a stupid glass of water.”  She saw a ripple move across his shoulders as he shuddered.  “I … I couldn’t stand it any more and I … I fought back with everything I had.  I ended up killing him.  Accidentally.”

Micah groaned softly.  She’d heard reasons behind why BAaT had closed down, why she would never be sent there, of course.  But apparently, a good enough job had been done in covering up the actual events that the lies had stuck.  Sliding down onto the floor beside him, Micah crawled onto his lap, wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him close.  They both had inner demons it appeared.  “I was lost for a long time,” he continued, but she felt his arms move around her, holding her as tightly as she was holding him.  “Pretty messed up.”

“I can imagine,” she replied quietly.  

He shuddered, his arms tightening around her before he moved to press his forehead against hers.  “I was just starting to find my way back when I met you.”  

Their eyes met and Micah saw something there that had her chest tightening.  “You helped me find my way,” she told him quietly.  “You saw me that day … at the hospital.  I was pretty messed up still.”

His eyes closed for a moment, but when they opened again, Micah saw that the steadiness she often associated with him was back.  “You helped me, too,” he replied, his hand rising to push her hair back.  Gradually, it lowered to tilt her chin upwards just a bit so he could kiss her again.  It was a light touch, nothing demanding by any means, but just as sweet as if it had been.  Micah found herself wondering if it was possible to actually melt into someone.  “I think Anderson knew it, too, and that’s why he asked me to come along and help you train.  That gave me … focus.”

She nodded.  Sighing softly, she lowered her head to rest on his shoulder, content to just sit there with him, feeling fully at peace for the first time in a very long time.  “Kaidan,” she murmured after a while, “I’m sorry.  I wasn’t trying to -”

His finger rose to press against her lips to silence her.  “Don’t apologize,” he insisted firmly.  “Life has made us who and what we are.  That is nothing to be sorry for.”  The fingers as his hand shifted and he hugged her close.  “We are stronger for the trials we’ve already faced … and battles we’ve already won.”

Micah sighed.  “That we are,” she agreed.  

 

~ ~ ~

 

Micah arrived at ICT the following day with no preset ideas or expectations other than it would be a challenge to make it through the training.  The program did not fail to disappoint.  She joined a group of twenty new candidates and by the end of the N0 course, she was one of eleven promoted to N1 and moved on.  That success behind her gave her the boost she needed to continue.  

As with basic and OCS, there was little personal time allotted during the day.  If the time wasn’t spent in training, it was used for sleeping.  However, occasionally, just before hitting the sack, Micah took a moment or two to send on a message to Anderson or her mother, just to reassure them she was well and hanging in there.  The messages between her and Kaidan were even shorter, but held so much more meaning for her.  

_To: Lt. K.B. Alenko_

_From: Firecracker_

_RE: Remember?_

_Remember that Christmas drive we took?  M_

 

~ ~ ~

 

Kaidan had learned to wait until he was off duty to accept messages from Micah.  Inevitably, she’d drop some sort of bombshell, if only just to get a reaction out of him.  Today he’d decided to fortify himself with a cup of coffee and had stopped by the mess after his watch.  Sitting alone at the table, he pulled up the message ... and nearly choked on the sip he’d taken.

That ‘Christmas drive’ had been a venture up into the mountains just outside of the family orchard to find a ‘perfect’ Christmas tree for the house.  They had parked the truck a distance from where they’d finally found the desired tree, and he’d asked her to bring the truck over.  A distance of just over a mile shouldn’t have been so difficult, right?

_To: Firecracker_

_From: Lt. K.B. Alenko_

_RE: RE: Remember?_

_Seriously?  They let you behind the wheel?  K_

 

~ ~ ~

 

Micah could not stop the grin that formed at receiving his reply.  He’d been so horrified to find out she could barely drive.  What had he expected?  She’d been raised on ships her entire life!  And the truck hadn’t sustained _too_ much damage ….

_To: Lt. K.B. Alenko_

_From: Firecracker_

_RE: RE: RE: Remember?_

_At least now I’m getting some official training.  And I can’t be THAT bad … they haven’t booted me yet!  M_

 

~ ~ ~

 

The news of his promotion to 1st Lieutenant didn’t really come as a surprise to Kaidan. It was also to come with a new posting, this one land based.  Almost immediately receiving the news, he contacted both Micah and his parents to let them know.  His parents responded immediately, of course.  Micah’s reply didn’t come for weeks.  Then again, this was usually how things worked with her of late.  He knew better than to worry.  

_To: Firecracker_

_From: Lt. K.B. Alenko_

_RE: News_

_Just thought you’d like to know they’ve promoted me to 1st Lieutenant.  Being reassigned to Mars.  Effective end of the month.  K_

 

~ ~ ~

 

_To: Lt. K.B. Alenko_

_From: Firecracker_

_RE: RE: News_

_Congratulations!  If you get a chance, check out the botanical gardens in Lowell City.  Just watch out for the big one.  M_

 

~ ~ ~

 

_To: Firecracker_

_From: Lt. K.B. Alenko_

_RE: What the hell???_

_You’d think I’d know by now that there’s some hidden meaning behind what you tell me … but what the hell was that thing?  K_

 

~ ~ ~

 

_To: Lt. K.B. Alenko_

_From: Firecracker_

_RE: RE: What the hell???_

_I TOLD you to watch out.  Hopefully, you didn’t end up needing a new uniform?  Remember Davis?  Thing tore his sleeve off because he got too close.  Thank god it was just BDUs, but still.  Some native species, but I’m not sure what it’s called._

_Heads up - will be incommunicado for next few weeks.  Will message on return.  M_

 

~ ~ ~

 

As far as duty stations went, Kaidan had to admit Mars wasn’t half bad.  It certainly wasn’t like being stationed out in the Attican Traverse where half the time you had to worry about sneak attacks by slavers and pirates.  Still, there was plenty to do and learn, and he was all for that.  He’d also found he had some time to devote to working on some of his more technical skills.  Generally speaking, all Alliance marines learned simple hacking skills while in basic.  But from a young age, Kaidan’s interest had been … more.  This wasn’t surprising, really, given the fact that his father had served as an engineer during his years in the Alliance.  And up until his biotics had manifested, Kaidan had figured he’d be following in his father’s footsteps.  But the biotics had changed all that.

What it hadn’t done was take that interest away.  Technically, he was classified as a sentinel.  His skills had come in handy over the years, and the interest was still there, so he continued to take whatever opportunities came his way to increase his skills.  He did the same with his biotics, too.  So it was no surprise that during his off hours, he could be found holed up in his quarters reading a tech manual or tinkering with his omni-tool or some other piece of equipment.  He could get so intensely focused at times that it was hard to get his attention away from what he was doing.

Like now.

It began with a solid knock on his door, but Kaidan didn’t even hear it.  A moment later, another rap.  Same thing.  A few moments after that, the sound of the door whooshing open only slightly caught his attention, but that was more because the sudden draft that came in nudged the wires he was trying to manipulate.  Still, his focus was on what he was doing, not the interruption.  

“Mars to Alenko,” a male voice tinged with amusement called out after another several moments of silence passed.

“Not now, Harris,” Kaidan muttered.

There was silence for a moment, but he could hear a subtle shifting of feet over at the door.  “Alenko,” Harris continued, “didn’t your mother ever teach you not to keep a pretty lady - and a superior officer to boot - waiting?”

_THAT_ did it.  Kaidan’s head snapped up and he turned … to find Micah leaning casually against the doorway, arms crossed, a smile of amusement tilting at her lips.  He jumped to his feet, ignoring Harris’ exit and Micah’s quick, “Thank you,” tossed after him.  “What are you doing here?” he asked.

Chuckling, she stepped into the room and allowed the door to close behind her.  “I was in the neighborhood ….”

He frowned.   _In the neighborhood?_ What was she doing on Mars …?  

It was as she turned and set her duffle and helmet on the floor that he noticed.  The bag was a standard military issue duffle, but this one was newer.  Certainly in better shape than someone who’d been in the military for five years would have … unless it had been reissued.  And this one was not in Alliance blue, but black … and had a white N7 designation with red trim on it.  His eyes flew to hers.  Then he noticed her armor … the molded black and grey, the red and white stripes trailing down her right arm, N7 logo on the chest.  “You did it.”  It wasn’t a question.  Simply an observation and the tone in which it was delivered was filled with awe and deep respect.  

He watched her walk over to him, stopping just in front of him, her head tilted back a little so she could see his face.  She’d always been so much shorter than him, barely reaching his shoulders.  “I did,” she replied.  “Graduated and everything.  Also got a weekend pass before my next assignment begins.  Thought I’d stop by and …”

He was taking a chance, he knew it.  If anyone happened by, he could well get busted down to 2nd Lieutenant.  But there was nothing that could stop him from reaching out towards her and pulling her close.   _A hug,_ he told himself.   _Just a hug._  

 

~ ~ ~

 

If there was one thing Micah knew she’d gotten out of her N7 training, for all the difficulty that had been involved in it, she realized she had a much stronger sense of self-assurance, a confidence that she had never felt before in her life.  The fact that her trainers had noticed it only emphasized how much of a change had occurred to her way of thinking.  It was a feeling she’d always had around Kaidan, but now it was carrying over.  Extending beyond their relationship and into other areas of her life.  And she felt … empowered in ways that she’d never really considered before.  And she was discovering that confidence was a heady thing.

She wanted to spend some time with him.  To talk with him, if not in detail of her experiences in N-training (some things weren’t open to speak about), at least in more general terms.  She was exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally, and she needed to be around him, instinctively knowing he would know how to help her ‘recharge.’  So when he reached for her, despite the knowledge of regulations regarding fraternization, she took the step to close the distance between them.  After all, it was only a hug, right?

There was a shock, the moment their cheeks touched, and she couldn’t hold back a soft gasp.  This wasn’t wholly unexpected, not after the last time they’d been together, but the intensity of it seemed to have increased to levels that had not been achieved before.  She felt him stiffen, he too, recognizing it.  Each pulled back a bit, eyes darting to find the other’s, and in them found ….

“Weekend pass?” he echoed quietly.  

Micah nodded, her eyes not leaving his.  “Yeah.  I was hoping maybe you ….”

Out of the corner of her eye, she spied his hand lifting, brushing hair back from her eyes before tracing the down the line of her jaw.  “I’m not back on duty until Sunday,” he told her.  

Micah felt her smile widen.  “I have a hotel room reserved in town,” she added quietly.   

He must have followed her line of thought because he pulled away quickly and retrieved his own duffle.  Stepping to the side, she retrieved her bag and helmet and waited on him.  It didn’t take him long.  Once his bag was packed, he grabbed his armor and pulled it on.  Minutes later, he grabbed his bag and helmet and they were exiting his room, walking through the halls towards the exit.  Micah noticed as they passed other military personnel along the way a distinct difference from the year before.  Sure, people had treated her with respect deserving of her rank, that had never been an issue.  But, now, walking through the halls and more or less advertising her N7 status ….

“So,” she asked as they approached the exit, her voice now muffled as she slipped her helmet into place, “how about a trip to the local botanical gardens, hmm?  I hear there’s this great display of indigenous plants there ….”  Micah dared a quick glance up at him and nearly laughed aloud at the look on his face.  Astonished?  Incredulous?  Disbelief?  A mixture of all three?  It seemed almost as if there was something more there, too, though she couldn’t quite put a name to it.

“Or,” she countered quickly when he grabbed her hand and began tugging her along a bit faster towards the nearby shuttle transport station, “we could just ….”

“Why don’t we wait and see?” he asked.  “Two days isn’t a whole lot of time.”

A moment later, they were jumping onto the shuttle that was about to leave.  It wouldn’t take long, she knew from her own experiences here before, but it seemed like an eternity.  “Really?” she replied.  “Because I would have thought that two days would give us time to see all the important things.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

Kaidan was doing his utmost to remain patient.  Calm.  In control.  Micah was doing her damnedest to keep that from happening, though.  Not that this was much of a surprise, really.  Granted, their relationship before their discussion the previous year had been more gradual, of slowly working their way towards something more … important?  But that day, they’d both realized the direction they were headed.  He was certain it was why she’d told him about her past.  He knew it was why he’d told her of his.  And now ….

He focused his attention on breathing.  In through his nose, out through his mouth.  Slow.  Even.  Techniques that often assisted when his migraines would hit.  He’d used it numerous times since joining the military, too, and even had taken time to work with a few friends to teach them as a way to help them battle sudden panic in battlefield situations.  

The shuttle ride lasted all of about fifteen minutes, thankfully, and soon they were being dropped off in the center of town.  At that point, Kaidan fell in beside Micah and let her lead the way.  They arrived at the hotel a short time later, though he stayed off to the side in the lobby while she checked in.  It might be in town, but there was still the chance of recognition from others stationed at the base.  

She caught him on the way to the elevator, looping her arm through his to pull him along.  Once on board, he glanced down at her to find her peeking a look up at him.  He couldn’t help but return the smile he found there, and at the same time noted the slight flush in her cheeks.  But her eyes were bright, and certainly filled with expectation which hit him hard.  It was enough to make him feel as if he’d taken a solid kick to his gut.

The only ‘incident’ came when they arrived at the door to her room.  As Micah attempted to unlock the door, he noticed her hands trembling just a bit.  Whether this was from nerves or excitement or what, he did not know, but it did serve as a pull back to the reality of the moment.  When on the third try she still could not get the door opened, he took the key card from her and did it himself, pushing the door open and holding it while she moved ahead of him.  Once inside, he dropped his bag and helmet beside hers, placed the key card on the table and turned to face her.  “So ….”

That was all it took before she launched herself at him.  He caught her mid-leap, pulling her close as she wrapped herself around him.  He stumbled a moment, thrown off balance and ended up catching himself and turning at the same time so he could sit on the bed, falling backwards with her sprawling atop him.  The kiss they’d fallen into when he’d caught her broke apart for a moment, both of them laughing.  “Nothing is ever easy for us, is it?” she asked him, the smile in her tone.

Kaidan chuckled softly, hand lifting to cradle her cheek and lead her back to him.  “I find that I like the challenge,” he replied.  

He saw the flare of desire behind her green eyes just before she returned, “As do I.”  

In the end, they spent the entire weekend proving just that.  

 


	5. Regeneration

_2182 - Arcturus Station_

 

Micah stepped off the shuttle with the heavy tread of one who was bone-weary beyond belief.  And perhaps that was just the way to describe it.  For the past five years, ever since being designated N7, the nature of her duty assignments had shifted from being ship- or land-based, to more short termed, special forces related missions, ultimately leaving her based out of Arcturus so that she could essentially be on call whenever they needed her.  That being said, it had given her an opportunity to move out into her own flat at least, though that too had its drawbacks.  She would still see her friends and former roommates occasionally, but for the most part they would be out on their long deployments while she more or less bopped around the galaxy wherever she was needed.  This arrangement also made maintaining a relationship with a certain Lieutenant more than just a little difficult.  

Sighing, she passed through familiar halls and passageways on her way to her apartment.  Over the past five years, she and Kaidan had only managed to find one other time to be together for any length of time.  And that had been three years ago.  Since then, either he’d been out on a long deployment or her missions had coincided with his leave.  Even their holidays hadn’t ever matched up.  It was becoming downright depressing, but at least they still were able to send messages back and forth.  Though, she thought as she stumbled through her door, nearly tripping on the mail that had been left through the mail slot, even that had, as of late, been intermittent at best.  This last assignment had been pure hell and she’d not had a chance to try to contact him since before leaving, and damn, she could sure use the sound of a familiar and friendly voice right now!

Micah’s eyes were caught by the official looking envelope laying nearby as she set her gear down near the entrance.  There were very few people in the Alliance who still used paper communication with her, most everyone else resorting to email.  But, though few, she knew anyone who did would have important reasons for doing so ….

Bleary-eyed with the need for sleep, she managed to find a way to focus on the familiar handwriting within, the soft emergency lighting that was always on by the doorway providing enough illumination to actually see it.  A short, personal note was attached to a more formal letter.  How like him, she thought.  

_[official letter]_

_To: Staff Lieutenant Micah Shepard_

_From: Captain David Anderson_

_RE: Duty Assignment_

_As of receiving this, you are officially reassigned to my staff for the Normandy project.  Report to my office for further details._

_[short, handwritten note]_

_And make sure you take a day or three to yourself to recover first.  I heard about that last mission - get some well earned and deserved rest.  And that’s an order!      - Anderson_

Micah couldn’t help but grin.  So formal and yet so … parental at the same time.  So like him.  Sighing, she set the letter aside and moved into the room to sit and remove her boots.  Armor came next.  When left only in her shorts and t-shirt, she rose and began padding through to her bedroom.  Anderson’s suggestion of sleep was well advised.  That last mission had been hell in more ways than one, and she felt like she could sleep for weeks just now.

Without turning a light on, she opened the door to her room and entered.  She didn’t even waste time brushing her teeth, so exhausted was she (a mental image came to mind, though, of her mother chastising her about that fact), and simply opted to flop into bed and sleep for however long unconscious bliss would claim her ….

It took a long moment for her to realize that the sudden hindrance to her movement was caused by a person’s arm rather than the dresser or a chair or some other piece of furniture.  Instincts kicking in in a rush, adrenaline coursing through her and giving her strength that otherwise might not have been there, Micah instinctively began fighting against it.  Moves and techniques learned from a very young age gave her an advantage, one she was not afraid to use.  N7 training had only added to this.  As a last resort, she might turn to her biotics, but that would only be a final option.  She didn’t want the inevitable mess that would follow if she could help it.  

She heard the man (there was no doubt in her mind that it was a man by the deep tone of the sound) grunt as her elbow connected with his midsection, but he did not release her.  If anything, his grasp tightened around her in reaction.  “Micah, stop!  It’s me!”

And that quickly, despite her sleep deprived state, she recognized the owner of the voice and her body froze.  “Kaidan?”

She heard his grunt of agreement and felt his arms releasing her.  Brushing her hair out of her face, she reached behind him and flipped the light switch.  “Kaidan … what -?”  Her eyes lifted to meet his for a moment before she reached out, grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him closer so she could kiss him deeply.   _To hell with the reasons … he was here!_  

 

~ ~ ~

 

By this point in their relationship, Kaidan was more or less used to the way Micah could jump back and forth from mood to mood.  To be honest, he wouldn’t have her any other way.  Alright, except maybe to have realized _BEFORE_ he’d taken an elbow to his ribs.  Still.  But god, her shifts could almost be frightening at times.  Moving from self defense to the attack (and there was no doubt in his mind that the way she was attempting to devour him just then was an ‘attack’ of some sort) was such that it was nearly as shocking as stepping from a freezer out onto the Sahara desert.  

As surprising as it was, though, he met her, matched her, and even added more fuel to the fire as he lifted her into his arms and carried her over to her bed.  There, he set her down gently, moving to lie beside her, hands tangling in her hair and with each whimpering moan she made, he felt his own response intensifying.  She was insistent, he noticed, her hands moving to push, pull and tug at clothing between them in a manner that suggested sooner was better than later.  Which, he had to admit, was an idea that he fully supported just then.  The last time they’d been together had been three very long years before.  Still, he wanted to savor this, not rush through it.  After all, it had been three years.  Who knew how soon they might see each other again?  But she seemed to have other ideas.

In the end, they both gave into need rather than patience, and as they lay curled up beside one another afterwards, Kaidan couldn’t deny that it had been well worth it.  “Well,” he murmured as he pressed a kiss to her forehead and wrapped an arm around her shoulders to keep her in place, “ _that’s_ a hell of a greeting.  Hello to you, too.”

Lying half sprawled across his chest, her head resting over his heart, her laughter shook her slight frame.  “I missed you?” she returned teasingly, amusement lacing her tone.

Kaidan chuckled along with her.  “Never would have guessed,” he countered.

She shifted then, and though it was dark, he was able to see her eyes lifting to meet his as she rested her chin on hands now folded across his chest.  “What are you doing here, Kaidan?” she asked then.  “And why didn’t you let me know?”

“Ah.”  A moment of embarrassment washed through him as he lifted a hand to comb his fingers through her hair.  “Well, you see, they pulled me for a new assignment and I had thought to surprise you ....”

“So you chose not to tell me because you wanted to surprise me?”

He sighed.  “I only received notification two days ago,” he admitted.  “I’d already received your message, and you know I won’t contact you during a mission unless absolutely necessary.”  This was an arrangement they’d both agreed upon back on Mars before parting ways at the end of that visit.  “Besides,” he added, hand tangling in her hair and pulling her close enough so he could kiss her again, “I _did_ want to surprise you.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

Micah maneuvered herself close enough to kiss, her own hands sliding around his neck and toying with his hair.  Lightly, she trailed her fingers along the edges of his implant, knowing that if she kept it light enough, he could find it quite … distracting.  She grinned at him as she felt a shiver roll through him in response.  “Well, you certainly succeeded,” she told him in response to his comment when he pulled back.  “Probably a bit more successfully than you’d intended.”

She noted that he laughed, apparently not holding a grudge against her for her earlier reaction.  “Just a bit,” he returned dryly.  “But then again, you and that firecracker temper of yours tend to -”

Swooping in quickly, Micah kissed him quite thoroughly, her fingers lightly tracing the edge of his implant again.  He groaned and she chose that moment to deepen the kiss.  She knew she had him off guard when he reacted with just as much hunger.  Normally, he was quite calm and controlled which had its occasional uses, and the challenge to make him lose that was an undeniable turn-on.  Pulling back, Micah took a moment to lightly rub her nose along his as she asked, “You were saying?”

Kaidan’s sigh was a sweet sign of victory, she thought.  

 

~ ~ ~

 

For a moment, Micah felt as if time had come to a sudden halt.  The only sound around her, the soft whoosh and whirr of the ventilation system engaging, was the only sign that she still remained in the present.  She darted a quick, somewhat shocked look in Kaidan’s direction, but clearly, he too was stunned.  “I’m sorry, sir,” she finally managed, her voice rough with her confusion.  “Did you just say -”

Anderson, she noted, seemed quite pleased with himself as he rose to move around his desk and stand before her.  “I said, you have been assigned to this Normandy project with the expectation of becoming my XO once the ship is space-worthy.  As such, you have been promoted to Lieutenant Commander,” he glanced over at Kaidan, “and Lieutenant Alenko has been promoted to Staff Lieutenant and has also been assigned to the same project.”

More silence.  Why she was so shocked, Micah was uncertain.  After all, this was what she’d wanted, right?  “Sir …?”

“Shepard, you’ve earned it,” he told her.  “Alenko too.  This project is something special … unique, and we’re looking for our best to serve aboard her.  I was lucky enough to have been given my choice in the matter.”  He handed over a datapad to Micah then and she took it in still slightly numb fingers.  “The crew isn’t complete yet, of course,” he continued while handing a similar pad over to Kaidan.  “And I’m counting on you both to assist me with that.”

“Of course, sir.”  Kaidan’s voice was quiet, but solid.  Assured.  Micah glanced over at him again, taking a deep, calming breath when his eyes met hers.  Grounded.  She could always count on him for that.  Swallowing, she echoed, “Of course.”

“Good.  You’ve both got a list of assignments that still need to be filled.  We have four months before we’re due to begin our shake down run.  Take your time, think it through, and give me a good list to pull from.  We’ll aim to discuss it again … oh, end of next week.”

Micah nodded, straightening this time and saluting.  “Yes, sir.”

Anderson smiled and returned the gesture.  “Good.  Now … unless there are further questions, I need to get to the shipyards to supervise.”  He winked at Micah.  “You’d be surprised how quickly things can go to hell when I’m not around there to keep an eye on them.”

Micah laughed aloud.  “No, sir,” she countered as he turned towards the doorway. “Hell, after that last mission, I doubt you could surprise me in that regard ever again.”  

Anderson turned back to face her for a moment, half in and half out of the door.  Eyes meeting, he added,  “Don’t count on it,” and then turned to exit the room.

Sighing, Micah ran a hand over her face briefly.  “I still can’t believe this,” she muttered.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Kaidan replied as he crossed over to stand beside her.  “Like Anderson said, you’ve earned it.”

“Yeah.”  Another sigh, this one still tinged with disbelief.  “Wonder what mom will think?”

Kaidan chuckled.  He’d met Hannah Shepard once over the years.  Though he kept the thought to himself, he figured he knew exactly where Micah got her feisty temperament from.  “I’ve no doubt she’ll be proud of you,” he assured her.  

“Hmm.”  Though things between her and her mother had gotten better over recent years, Micah still felt there was a huge gap between them, one which she was uncertain how to close.  “Oh, and you too, but the way,” she told him, mood swinging upwards again as she offered him a brighter smile.  “Staff Lieutenant Alenko.”

He smiled in return, but felt the heat flush his cheeks just a bit as she enunciated it.  “Yeah, well ….”

Micah grinned and reached out to squeeze his hand quickly before releasing it.  “Congratulations to you too, sir,” she returned with a quick, if slightly sassy, salute.  

“Thanks.”

Her eyes dropped then to the datapads they both had in hand.  Lips flattening just a bit as her more professional side kicked into gear, she observed, “Alright, what do you say we go get some lunch and get down to business?  I don’t know about you, but I’m starved, and I doubt I can come up with enough suggestions on my own.”

He chuckled in reaction, but unexpectedly didn’t tease her back.  Surprised, she glanced up at him.  “You okay?” she asked.

“Hmm?  Yeah, I’m good,” he told her before turning towards the doorway, proving he’d heard her suggestion.  “Just … thinking.”

Micah snorted as they began making their way out of Anderson’s office and through the station.  “You do that quite a bit, you know?” she pointed out.

Kaidan snorted softly as they approached the bank of elevators.  “You say that like it’s a bad thing, Commander.”

Micah managed to keep the smile in her eyes, but silently, she filed away another moment of concern as he addressed her as ‘Commander.’  At the moment, they were alone, no one else around or in hearing distance.  If others had been around them, that might have explained it ….

 

~ ~ ~

 

It wasn’t until that evening that Kaidan finally clued Micah into his thoughts.  After spending the afternoon coming up with a short list of names to recommend, they’d returned to her apartment for dinner and to relax.  He’d become more withdrawn as the afternoon had worn on, even to the point he’d noticed her darting concerned looks in his direction.  By the time they’d returned to her place, he knew he’d have to talk with her about it or she’d not stop until she’d badgered it out of him.  So while she worked on dinner (and he had to admit, she was getting much better at cooking), he assisted.  It was as she worked on the fried rice and he made a salad that their conversation led down the road he needed to broach the topic.

“So,” Micah began, quickly shaking the frying pan as she added the soy sauce, “you going to tell me what’s been bugging you all afternoon?”

Kaidan shrugged as he worked.  “Just … thinking.”  Her sigh of exasperation normally would have had him chuckling, but this time it only served to depress.  

“Uh huh,” she replied while moving to add more ingredients.  With a few deft flicks of her wrist, she had it blended into the rice in moments.  “About what, in particular?”

Kaidan set his knife aside and turned to face her.  “About Alliance rules and regulations on fraternization now that you’re a commanding officer.”  Okay, that had come out a bit more bluntly than he’d intended.  But, she _had_ asked.

The pan clanged as it landed upon the stove top suddenly.  Micah reached over to turn the burner off before shifting to face him.  Arms moving to fold across her chest (never a good sign, he knew), she ventured, “So … that’s it then?  We’re done?  Through?  Just like that?”

Kaidan heard a low growl behind the words, saw a spark of anger flaring in her eyes and knew that she was about to blow up at him if he didn’t stop her quickly.  Stepping towards her, he met her look with one of his own.  “I didn’t say that,” he replied quietly, calmly.  “What I said was that I was thinking about them.  They are in place for a reason, you know.”

Micah sighed.  “Why?  Are you worried you’ll have trouble taking orders from me?”

Kaidan shrugged.  “It’s been known to happen in the past,” he pointed out.  “Not with us, but in other situations.  That’s why the regs are there to begin with, and you know it.”

“So,” she continued, and he thought he could almost see the ideas jumping around inside her head behind those green eyes, “what are you suggesting then?  What conclusions have you come to?”

“I haven’t,” he replied.  Reaching out, he settled his hands at her shoulders.  “I’m torn,” he admitted truthfully.  “We’ve both come so far, _too_ far to ruin our careers over something like this.”

Her eyes lifted to search his.  “But?” she hedged.

Kaidan sighed.  He could feel the strength and power that vibrated in her small frame and understood exactly what this conversation was costing her.  She was trying to keep her temper in check … for him.  For them both.  “But,” he finally continued, admitting, “I don’t want to lose this.  There won’t be anyone else for me, Micah.  Ever.”

“Kaidan ….”

The way she said his name was his undoing, and apparently hers too.  Dropping his hands, he caught her as she stepped towards him, nearly leaping up into his arms.  Their mouths met in a series of frantic and frenzied kisses.  Desperation took over as hands began echoing the same, pulling and tugging at clothing.  Whimpers and moans, rasping breaths that implied more than mere words could, all of this and more took control.  

Reality, however, was not far away, and returned, albeit momentarily, with a loud thud.  Tearing their mouths from one another, foreheads meeting and touching, they both glanced down by their feet at the bowl that had fallen.  Salad and vegetables scattered about them on the floor, it took a long moment before the laughing began; softly at first, but eventually building until they both were shaking from the force of it.  

“Oops?” Micah finally managed to gasp, her eyes meeting his.  

His chuckles continued as he lifted a hand to her cheek, pausing momentarily before sliding it so his fingers could comb through her hair.  “Yeah, um … perhaps we ought to move this into the other room?”

Micah didn’t wait for him to change his mind.  Tugging at his hand, she started leading him towards the bedroom.  Dinner could wait.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Sighing wearily, Micah stared at the list on her datapad.  They’d been at this for weeks now, offering up suggestions to Anderson who passed them along to Alliance Command, only to have one or two or more of them be tossed right back at them because the persons were ‘unavailable.’  Just how the hell many people did they think she knew within the Alliance?  And why ask her opinion if they were going to blatantly ignore her suggestions in the first place?  

Across the office, seated at a computer terminal, Kaidan was busily researching another possibility.  “Okay, I’ve got one,” he called out, catching her attention.  

Rising to her feet, she crossed the room to stand behind him, staring down at his screen.  “Jenkins, Richard L., Cpl.”  Micah frowned.  This name wasn’t familiar to her.  “Do you know him?”

“Yeah.  Met him a few years back, on Mars.  We’ve stayed in touch on and off.”  He hit a button and pulled up Jenkins’ service record.  “I’d say he’s a good match.  A bit enthusiastic at times, but overall, I think he’s what we’re looking for.”

Micah scanned the notes.  “Sounds good to me,” she told him after a moment.  Straightening, she stretched, her back making a soft popping sound during the process.  “God knows I’m out of ideas at this point.”

“He the last one?”

“We still need a doc.  I don’t care what the brass say, I want Chakwas,” she told him.  “Submit her name again as well.  Maybe they’ll get the idea.  If nothing else, maybe Anderson will add something to emphasize his endorsement.”  She certainly hoped the brass would listen.  She couldn’t think of any other doc she’d rather have on the ship than Chakwas.  

“Done,” Kaidan announced a moment later.  Glancing up at her, he pushed back from the desk and asked, “Now what?”

Micah sighed.  She was feeling antsy today.  Most of it came from the frustration of not having a finalized crew list yet, more specifically from the occasional roadblocks the Alliance brass were throwing in their direction.  Anderson had asked for their suggestions, they had given them.  Too bad the brass didn’t seem to agree with some of the choices.  Thankfully, though, some of the major requests she’d made had been pushed through and approved already.  They only had a month or so before the shake-down run was set to begin, and this was the last time she wanted to go through this process.  

Running a hand through her hair, Micah began chewing at her lip.  “I need to burn off some energy,” she muttered.  

“Oooookay?”

She glanced down at him and nearly choked with laughter at the expression on his face.  Reaching for his hand, she tugged until he rose to his feet beside her.  “Not that.  Although,” she added with a conspiratorial wink in his direction and a soft laugh when she saw him blush, “that’s a good idea too.  No, actually I was thinking we could go train in the combat simulator.”

Rubbing a hand against the back of his neck, Kaidan laughed.  “Yeah, well, that works too,” he agreed.  “Training is always good.”  And certainly less likely to result in the breaking of any regs.  Equipment, on the other hand, was fair game ….

 

~ ~ ~

 

Several hours later, Micah had to admit that the training session had taken the edge off her frustration levels.  And besides, she had discovered early on (this had been their fourth visit to the simulator since receiving their promotions) that she enjoyed working with Kaidan ‘in the field.’  Their skill sets seemed to compliment one another in battle situations.  Fine tuning those skill sets now would, theoretically, make them a more effective team in the field.  

They were exiting the simulator facility when she commented, “So, you think you’ll have trouble accepting orders from me?”  

Kaidan chuckled as they walked.  “Not unless you become irrational, I suppose,” he told her.  

Micah giggled and side-eyed him.  “What?  You don’t plan on supporting decisions for midnight pizza and beer runs?  Not even for morale?”

“Heh.  Now that you mention it ….”  Kaidan sighed.  They’d finally both agreed to keep things as low key as possible between them, particularly once they were onboard the ship.  They’d even taken their concerns to Anderson who, having already figured their relationship status out on his own, told them that he knew they were intelligent enough to be discrete and make the right decisions when necessary.  And while he did still have some concerns, Kaidan knew that unless it _did_ become an issue in accepting her as his superior officer, he wouldn’t, or rather _didn’t_ want to stop building on what they already had.

They arrived back at her flat without incident (twice during the past four months they’d been followed by reporters who had recognized Micah and tried to chase her down for an interview), only to find a handwritten message waiting for them.  Surprised, Micah opened it to find Anderson’s familiar hand.

_Shepard -_

_The requests from this afternoon have been approved and are in final stages of processing.  Our departure has been upped as well.  You and Alenko should report to the ship no later than midday tomorrow.  I’ll brief you then on a few minor alterations to our itinerary, but we should be well underway by tomorrow evening._

_\- Anderson_

Handing the letter over to Kaidan, she stepped into the main room of the apartment.  “Well.”

Kaidan followed as he read the message.  “Hmm.  Something’s obviously come up to change our plans,” he commented.

“Yup.”  Though she wouldn’t say it out loud, she could feel her gut instincts screaming at her just then because of this.  Sighing, she turned to face him.  “I guess we should pack.  Maybe we should do the pizza run thing after all?”

Kaidan stepped over to her and reached for her hands.  Squeezing them gently, he waited for her to look up at him.  “We’ll make this work,” he promised quietly.  “It might be difficult, but we’ll make it work.”  It was only after she nodded that he leaned down to kiss her cheek.  “Now, you go pack and I’ll go get pizza.”

“What about you?” she challenged.

He laughed as he turned towards the door.  “Boy scout, I believe you once called me, remember?  I’m always prepared.”  He smiled as the echoes of her laughter faded behind him.  His bag had been packed for over a week.

 

_**FIN** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: This ends the second part of Micah Shepard's background fics. Thank you so much for reading and following! If you've enjoyed so far, keep an eye out for her main story, Mass Effect: The Lazarus Project, the story idea that started her venture into fanfiction! There may also be a small collection of one-shots forthcoming as well, set in the Mass Effect 1 era, just to fill in any pertinent details.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my long-standing beta, MireliAmbar; and to LadyJess whose insights into the military help me keep my sanity when writing some of this!


End file.
